Faker

The end

I sit slumped on axels couch. We're having a friends night. Ace and Britt are here. Daniel and Zoe are here. Some of aces friends. Some of axels other friends. I don't really pay attention. I just sit in the corner of the couch looking at my lap. Axel comes and sits beside me. Cautiously putting one arm around my shoulders. I accept and lean into him. I burry my face in his shirt. It's soft and smells like him. He kisses the top of my head. He forced me to come here. He wanted me to be social and get out of the house again. So I came. Only to be un social at his house instead. "Hey Snickers" he spoke softly. We weren't much for pet names before now. But I wanted something new so now I call him pookie or bear. It's sweet and I like it. And he calls me snickers because he says snickers is his favorite chocolate and I'm his favorite person. It's all silly and sweet and awe worthy. "Hey bear" I hum softly. He smiles down at me. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like being here. I just....I wanted you to feel better" he said.

I'm not really just depressed because of ace. I'm over him now. It's just everything. How he did it. How I didn't trust many people now. Seeing him with her hurts too. I hate her.

"I get it. I just don't like seeing them" I said to him. "Yeah...I'm sorry. How about we go up to my room and...relax alone" he said softly. I nodded and stood up. He took my hand and led me to his room. It was deadly quiet in the room. His room was sound proof. We laid on his bed. Me scooting closer than he probably liked. He had a new crush now. And he was going on a date Saturday. I don't think he would want me so close. I backed off and sat on the edge of the bed so I wasn't touching him. It was awkward because nether of us wanted it to be too romantic. Or too distant. Or just too weird. So I didn't know what to do. He didn't reach for me. I didn't go to him. He just stayed quiet because we didn't know what to say. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. He nodded and switched for laying on the bed to going through his closet. I used the bathroom quickly. Even though I started crying, I didn't wipe my tears. I liked it better when they dried. I didn't like it when my face was wet and covered in salty tears that I tried to wipe away. Only to spread on my cheeks.

When he saw he wiped a few away before silently handing me a sweatshirt. I looked up at him questioning. "That shirt. It looks uncomfortable. It's all lace and stuff. So put this on." He offered with a little smile. "Thanks" I said. I started to head to the bathroom again. "Come on sis. We're siblings. You can change your shirt in front of me" he said softly. I glanced back at him. I wanted to. I just wasn't sure if he would want me to change in front of him.

I felt a little better now knowing that it was okay.

I was constantly worrying if he'd like what I was doing or not. If it was too coupley or whatever.

I changed and threw my lace shirt on his floor next to the bed. Slipping on his over sized sweatshirt. It smelled like his cologne and I loved that smell. We got back into the bed. Laying beside each other. I tried to make the move. Turning my body so I could put my arms around him. He put his arms around me too. I smiled softly and nuzzled my cheek into his neck. I wrapped one of my legs around him and soon we were just a tangled web of limbs which were attached to cuddling teenagers. It felt good now. It felt like someone cared. It didn't remind me of ace. It just reminded me of axel. And everyone else who cared about me. All my true friends and everything like that.

That lasted 20 minutes.

(Trigger warning)

I was going to get us snacks. Axel wanted to have a movie marathon. Just the two of us. It made me happy. So I went to get snacks. I walked past a room. Two people making out. I smiled to myself. They both had Someone who they loved and cared about. And who loved and cared about them back. I was gonna finish shutting the door for the happy couple until I saw it was ace and Britt.