Two Pepes. One Direction. [Discontinued]

Chapter Six - eHarmony

One Direction was not excited to meet Pepe's family. Walking behind Detective Benson the boys were extremely nervous. How could they face the parents of the person they killed? They can't just meet the family of the person (or frog) they killed and pretend it's a-okay. However, they can't just spill all their secrets to random people that are somehow connected to them.  But, this meeting will test the boy in ways...holy shit is that~

"Holy shit is that the Hello, My Baby Frog?"

"Holy shit is that, Ice Bear from we Bare Bears?"

Asked Niall and Louis simultaneously.

"Yeah, but his proper name is Mr. Michigan J. Fox and it's Mrs. Ice Bear."

"Oh nice to meet you Mr. Fox and Mrs. Bear. I'm happy to meet the people who gave birth to our best friend, Pepe." Liam greeted the pair ever so formally.

"Hello beautiful." Michigan said in a deep sensual voice. He winked at Liam. But Ice Bear wasn't having it so he nudged her husband.

"Ignore him. Nice to meet you but Ice Bear didn't give birth to Pepe." The group sighed because they were relieved of the awkwardness.

"Wait..." Niall said cautiously "If you're not Pepe's mother then who is?"

"Oh, that would be my ex wife Nor~" Michigan never got to finish his sentence. The lights have dimmed and magical spotlights shone on the elevator doors.

Out of the elevator was a cabbage colored wrinkled cashmere sweater with weird plastic eyes and luscious weave. The boys then realized it's just a poorly made puppet. Then it talked...

"The name's Noreen bitch." It flipped it's weave.

"Mom pls. You're just as bad as Ms.Piggy." From behind the weird being that's Noreen stepped out Kermit the frog.
Only then did the Boys of 1D piece is together. The Noreen thing wasn't a puppet but a muppet. And not just any muppets Kermit the Frog's Mother.

Sadly, Louis didn't piece the facts together properly.

"Wait...Pepe's mother is Kermit the frog and he's now married to a raggedy talking green felt?"

"Call me raggedy again with your broke ass shoes and that fugly ass haircut. You dickless sickle cell." Noreen said swinging her Gucci bag onto her shoulder and stroking her weave.

"And you" She turned to Kermit "Never compare me to that Great Value hoe pig you called your wife. I have a much better taste in fashion." Noreen turned around sharply hitting Kermit with her weave and strutted over to the group with her red Louis Vuitton high heels.

She looked the boy band up and down and stopped at Harry. "I'll ride you until your spine snaps then I'd suck you dry until your body is a dried husk." She purred.

Harry turned red either of embarrassment or trying to keep his screams of pure disgust and terror internalized. There was a 99.99999% chance it was the second one.

Michigan sighed, "This is my ex wife Noreen. She's Pepe's biological mother and Kermit is his Half Brother."

"Hey." Kermit said from behind Noreen.

Noreen stopped boring her eyes through Harry and turned to Ice Bear.
"Oh, so you're Ice Bear. Michigan's new arm candy in guessing." Under her breath Noreen whispered "Slut"

"Bitch, don't come at Ice Bear unless Ice Bear sends for you. Ice Bear knows martial arts. Ice bear will drag you, your dry weave, and dry puss~" The bear's hateful crusade was stopped by by her husband.

"We talked about it. Let's be civilized about this."

Ice Bear closed their eyes and took a deep breath and turned back to Noreen, "It's lovely to see you again Noreen. Your skin is a lovely Arti-I'll-Choke-You Green."

"Mhmm," Noreen hummed while
stroking her weave. "Well I gotta go now see you hoes later." Noreen turned sharply attacking everyone with her weave.

"I just realized hate everyone on this planet." Niall stated. One Direction silently agreed.

This on hold because I ain't got that kinda time anymore.