Two Pepes. One Direction. [Discontinued]

Chapter Seven - Meme Me Harder Dank Daddy

It was four in the morning time and Simon had called the boys to tell them the urgent news. When Liam's phone rang, he groggily reached for it and pulled it from the charger. He looked at the radiant phone and made out Simon's name.

"Yah, Simon?"

"Boys you won't believe the great news I heard from Tumblr Officials."

"What is it?"

"Guess."

"Simon please."

"No, no. I want you to guess."

"I'm tired just tell me."

"Guess at least once Liam."

"No, Simon. I will not fucking guess because it is 4am and the probability of me guessing correctly is little to none so how about you just fucking tell me." Liam said in a venomous whisper

"Okay, geez Liam. Chill out Homie. Tumblr has announced Shrek as their new President and Dat Boi as Vice President. Only temporarily of course. When they find Pepe."

"And that is relevant because???"

"...because President Pepe was your best friend and he would've wanted it that way." Simon said quietly

"For the love of... Pepe was not my best friend he was..." Liam stopped himself remembering who he was and the situation he was in. He cleared his throat and tried to sound heartbroken.

"Pepe...was not just my best friend. He was like...he was..." Liam tried desperately to improvise.

"Your lover?"

Liam was taken aback by Simon's suggestion. He wouldn't...he didn't do anything with that frog but breath the same air.

"Simon no! What the fuck? He was like a uhh...brother to me. That's a thing people say."

"If you did gay shit with Pepe I won't judge. Me and my good friend Gordon Ramsay once t~"

"Simon no."

"All I'm saying is experimenting is a natural thing to do no matter what gender you are. If you like the kitty and the sausage or just sausage I won't say anything."

"SIMON I NEVER FUCKED PEPE!"

Liam's conversation must've woken up Harry and Niall because they opened Liam's bedroom door eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

"Who fucked a what?" Niall said drowsily " Is Simon on?" Niall asked

Liam calmed down and nodded and put his phone on speaker. He was about to ask why Simon would believe he's romantically involved with Pepe but someone on Simon's end cut him off.

"Um, sir?" A meek (mill) voice called, "Ryan Seacrest and Nick Cannon are fighting in the lobby."

They heard Simon shuffling and mumbling something under his breath along the lines of "Bloody hell. Why does this keep happening? Who let Nick Cannon in?"

"Hold on Liam. I gotta put you on hold." Simon did not put Liam on hold.

"F UVK U RIEN DICKCREST. YOUR NAWT EVEN A GOOD SHOW HOST. FUVK YOU." Cannon slurred

"OKAY BUT THE BEST PART OF YOUR CAREER IS MARRYING MARIAH CAREY NICK. REMEMBER HOW YOUR ALBUM FLOPPED NICKYPOO?!" Seacrest retaliated

Nothing but scuffling was heard on the other end.

"Umm, Liam maybe you should hang up and we'll call him back later." Niall tried to reason.

The boys all flinched when they heard a loud shot and the shrill scream of the secretary.