Sydney's POV
"Ever since the hospital. I haven't felt... Myself. The pills they make me take. Altering my mood. Making me someone I'm not. They change me so I could be a "better" person. Bettering myself and the people around me. It's been a month since I started taking them. A month of me, pretending. I'm not me with these. The real Sydney is the depressed, self harming bitch that has lost all of her family. I couldn't help myself but not take them sometimes. But chandler... He just gets so angry with me. He wants to me change. Change myself. Why does everyone want me to change! With these pills. They say they make me happier. But instead of my thoughts being etched out on my skin. They are destroying my brain. My ears are flooding with them. I can't think. I can't do anything. They say they make me happier. When I just just fine before." I say to my counselor I'm forced to go to twice a week. I pick at my fingernails as she gives me the same lecture.
"You need to take your pills.
Happiness is a choice.
Everything will get better.
Chandler is trying to help.
It's better this way."
And with that. Our half hour is up and I thank her and leave.
Walking out to the lobby I keep my head down and my eyes just a distance in front of me. I walk outside and start my journey home. Chandler thinks he has seen me at my worst. And I'm now progressing up from that. But. Now. The pills. Have just trapped me inside of a person who looks like me. But is not me. I just want him to realize I'm dying. I'm dying more than I was when I was in the hospital, in a coma, not able to breath on my own. I want help. I truly do. But sometimes, help doesn't help.
Hey hi how ya doing. So I haven't updated in a while. But here is a little snippet of a new chapter. I deleted my wattpad because of drama and obviously couldn't update anything. But I'm back and should be updating more. I have updated my other books also you can check them out of you desire they are "Not me" which is a Carl grimes ff and is much longer than this story. It's about a girl named Christiana and her journey through the apocalyptic world.
Also I have "scarred hearts" a punkish chandler Riggs one which is now turning into a vampire thing. And it's about a girl named Scarlett and she goes through some drama in her life like a normal teenager. Read to find out the rest. Thank you for reading. Stay with me I promise I will be updating more!
~Isabelle
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Anything but This |C.R
FanficAs my fatherly figure talks to the secretary a boy walks in. His hair is long and dangles over his eyes. He is followed by a staff member who brings him to the chair next to me. So familiar He plops himself down as if he hasn't sit in days and slum...
