happy.

002

dear diary,
today i felt like i wasn't able to get out of bed. i'm not sick, i'm not physically tired, i just mentally couldn't do it. i told garroth, dante, and travis that i wasn't feeling well, but i'm pretty sure they didn't care. it's alright though, aphmau found out and came to visit me. she probably jus pity's me, but it's nice to pretend that she cares, even if it's fake.
aphmau gave me the mental strength to go out to lunch with her. we talked about what we think is going to happen in the future. she talked about how she wanted to settle down and have a nice family. oh my irene, how i wish that was possible to happen with me. i told her that i want to adopt a bunch of dogs. it made her smile. her beautiful smile could make any of my darkness go away. i didn't tell her what i actually wanted to do in the future though. i don't even think she would care. who would even care if i wanted to be dead? maybe she's be happy.
your sincerely,
laurance