Afraid To Fall

Chapter Seventeen

"No, Harry.. You don't love me," I said softly, refusing to look at the boy. "Elizabeth, stop arguing with me. I told you how I feel and if you don't feel the same, I'll wait!" I shook my head as he sighed. "Look, I love you. I just realized how much you mean to me and I don't want to lose you.. At all." I looked up at him and he was staring straight down at me. His eyes were begging him to believe him, but...I was being told not to. 

Don't listen to him..

He's trying to hurt you again.. 

Don't be gullible, Elizabeth. 

"You're being delusional, Harry," I whispered, shutting my eyes tightly. The voices started getting louder and louder until a sharp ringing was in my ear and everything around me was quiet and still. I looked up at Harry as he mouthed some words, but the sound refused to come out. What is happening to me? I felt my throat tighten as I tried to ask Harry for help and I started coughing.

And it wasn't good. As I coughed, blood spurted over my gown. I'm coughing up blood. I groaned and continued coughing as the blood started choking me. The lights brightened as Harry had fled the room, probably looking for doctors. My eyes began to close as the world spun around me.

The doctors flooded the room, there was about five maybe, and surrounded me. I recognized one of the guys from the ambulance. The one that stroked my hair and made me feel a little bit better. "Breathe!" one shouted at me. My coughing worsened with every short breath I took. My lungs were just not allowing it. 

"Elizabeth!" Harry pleaded, getting shoved out of the room by a big guy in dark grey scrubs. "H-Harry!" I stuttered out through a struggled breath. My throat tightened once more, choking me rougher. I coughed harder of course, but this time, blood didn't spurt out.. It poured out. I began vomitting and it wasn't just the food. I threw up all over myself.

My hospital gown was completely covered in that shit looking food and my blood. My throat began to burn as the food traveled up. "Calm down, Elizabeth," the man from the ambulance said softly, rubbing my back. Calm down? How can I calm down? I struggled to catch a breath before vomitting once more. 

Maybe if you throw up enough, you'll lose too much blood..

Harry doesn't care. He's probably out flirting with nurses..

Wouldn't it be lovely to just give up..? 

"Give.....up," I said between my exasperated breaths. His eyes widened as I leaned back against the bed, closing my eyes. My chest continued to move up and down rapidly as I gasped for breath, but I did it. I gave up.. Now I can feel my head getting lighter and lighter until it's already gone...

~ 

(Harry's Pov)

"She can't be!" I shouted, looking at Elizabeth's closed door. "She can't be dead!" I blinked back the threatening tears as the middle aged man patted my shoulder. "She...she gave up," he said softly. There was hurt clearly in his voice. He must've grown fond of the beautiful girl. 

"Please, try everything you can.. I-I can't lose her.. I love her!" I begged, dropping to my knees. My head was rested into my hands as the tears flooded out violently. I didn't bother to keep them in. I didn't bother to even hold them steady. I let it all out.

"I'm sorry, son. There's nothing we can do." I sat there shaking and crying horribly as they just watched me. They all watched me suffer. I slowly brought myself to my feet and began walking to Elizabeth's room. There were some protests, but I didn't care. I needed to see her. 

I walked in quietly, shutting the door behind me. She layed there under the bright light lifeless. Even from here I could tell that she's pale. Very pale.. "Elizabeth?" I asked, moving closer. Of course I knew she wouldn't answer, but I was hoping. "Hey," I said quietly, stroking her blonde hair. 

"It's Harry, beautiful." As I looked down at her, I noticed the tiny smile her lips were made into. She was happy. She was actually happy to leave. To leave me.. "I just want you to know how bad I'll miss you.. It's going to be so hard without you," I whispered as the tears slid down my puffy cheeks. 

"You were the best thing that ever came into my life. You made me so happy even though I hurt you so many times.. Just thinking that this is my fault hurts.. I love you and I cause you to kill yourself.." I sniffled and wiped my eyes. "It sucks that I won't get to see your gorgeous green eyes again, or your perfect smile, or hear your angelic laugh," I paused. 

I broke down sobbing, holding onto her hand that her gashes were on. "Please come back to me," I begged, leaning my head on her small shoulder. She was beginning to lose warmth and I knew this was it. She's not coming back.. And this is all my fault. "Please, Elizabeth. I love you and I could never live without you.." 

I squeezed her hand tightly as my tears dampened her gown. It was covered in blood and vomit, but I really don't care. She still looks beautiful and amazing. I pressed a trembling kiss to her cold forehead and let go of her hand. "I'm never going to forget you," I whispered, turning on my heels. My heart ached to see her again. 

It really did, but it's not possible. She's dead. All because of me. I'm so stupid..