Afraid To Fall

Chapter Seven

(Harry's Pov)

"How could you!?" I asked him, shoving him against the brick wall. We finally got home and I decided to let all of my anger out. "She's hot!" I gritted my teeth and clutched his shirt collar tighter, feeling the bllod inside of me boil. "She's beautiful," I hissed. He shoved me off and sauntered over to the couch. "She's hot, Harry. Admit it," he said, flickering through the channels. "Besides, you told her I wanted to get in her pants." "You do!" I snapped, snatching the remote from him.

"So? You don't have to tell her! Apparently I have to gain her trust to do that," he said with a snort. "Really, Zayn? Can you not think about a girl's feelings?" "Not when I don't want a relationship!" I smacked him upside the head and walked towards the kitchen. 

The thought of Elizabeth crying hurts me. She looked so....broken. Like she literally died inside. I bit my lip as I searched through the contents inside of the fridge. "Zayn!" I shouted.

~ 

(Elizabeth's Pov)

Mom and David had just gone to bed. I was left alone in the living room, by myself. There is one thing people don't know about me. I have a lot of secrets actually. I sauntered into the kitchen quietly and my gaze suddenly stopped on the black handle of our kitchen knife. My heart was begging me not to do it, but my mind thought the opposite. As I moved closer and closer to the knife, my heart race quickened. My thoughts traveled back to the things Harry and Zayn said. Why they made me cry. 

Before I knew it, I had clutched the knife in my hand, looking over the metal. It was clean and I was so happy for that, but at the same time disappointed. I hopped onto the kitchen counter, holding my right wrist over the sink. "Here goes nothing," I whispered to myself. I slowly drug the blade over my wrist. The crimson red liquid began spilling, staining my skin of its color. It oozed out each time I did it. The metallic stench started to fill the room, so I decided to stop at fifteen. 

I turned on the warm water and quickly grabbed a washcloth, moving my arm under the water. I flinched at the pain, whimpering quietly. Four months clean and it gets wiped out by two boys. Two stupid boys that enjoy playing with my heart. The water stopped stinging once my arm went numb at the contact and I pulled it away, wrapping the cloth around the wounds. "Great," I whispered as they started bleeding once more. 

Tears swelled up in my eyes as the liquid colored the white cloth pressed against them. I heard a light switch click on and I panicked. "Elizabeth?" David called out. I hopped off of the counter and turned the water on higher, pretending as if I was washing my hands. "Yes sir?" I asked. "I was just making sure that was you." I smiled and nodded as he turned back towards the stairs. The whole time my heart raced quickly, but my blood stopped flowing. Thank goodness. 

I shut the water off and ran upstairs secretly, holding my wrist in my left hand. I can't believe I actually did this. Again.. Once I reached my room, I shut the door and locked it, plugging my phone on the dock. The song I had clicked made tears form in my eyes. Why did this all have to happen to me? 

When I look into your eyes. 

It's like watching the night sky. 

Or a beautiful sunrise.

Well, there's so much they hold.

And just like them old stars.

I see that you've come so far.

To be right where you are.

How old is your soul?

Tears ran down my cheeks as I stripped myself of my shirt and quickly put on my grandmother's old shirt. I slid off my shorts and just jumped into bed, curling into a stiff ball. The duvet was clutched into my fists, smothering my body with warmth. All I felt was the dampness of my pillow with the tears I had spilt. 

Well, I won't give up on us.

I already did..

Even if the skies get rough. 

I'm giving you all my love.

I'm still looking up. 

I can't look up. I'm in fear of the rejection that would come from every soul on earth and the disappoint of my grandmother to what happened tonight..

And when you're needing your space.

To do some navigating.

I'll be here patiently waiting.

To see what you find.

All I ever find is heartbreak and hurt..

'Cause even the stars they burn.

Some even fall to the earth.

We've got a lot to learn. 

God knows we're worth it.

No, I won't give up..

I wish I could say the same. I wish I could stop giving up so easily. But I'm not giving up this. I'm not giving up on not falling in love. I don't need love. I don't need Zayn and I don't need Harry. I have my friends! 

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily.

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make.

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake.

And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend

For us to work, we didn't break, we didn't burn.

I sure did break..

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in.

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am.

But..I know who I am. I'm a broken and scarred girl that everyone loves to take advantage of. It's obvious, too. How can people ignore it so easily?

I won't give up on us.

Even if the skies get rough.

I'm giving you all my love. 

I'm still looking up, still looking up. 

Tears wettened my hair as I sobbed uncontrollably into my pillow. The words really touch me and it's hard to handle it in this situation! I reached over and turned off the song before it could finish. I quickly flipped over the pillow and wiped my eyes, resting my head back down. Let's just try and get some sleep..