My songs to you { a zalfie fanfic }

Do I wanna know? - arctic monkeys

Alfie

I'd been sat in the lobby for at least half an hour now, and I was just about to give up on seeing Zoe again, when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "why Mr Deyes, fancy seeing you here?" It said. I turned around and looked into Zoes irresistible blue eyes. The look in it told me that she felt slightly awkward with me being in her hotel. "yeah you didn't really seem in the state to notice last night, or shall I say this morning, that I an staying in this hotel as well" I grinned. "I was just about to go out for coffee though, wanna come along?" I could almost sense her hesitation, but eventually she went along with it. "Yes, that would be nice Alfie", she smiled up at me. I gave her a huge smile (which probably scared her to bits but I just couldn't get it off), and opened my arm for her to link in. Happily, she did, and out we went, to the nearest Costa. 

"What's your favorite hot drink?" I asked her politely, genuine interested. "Tea of course, I'm proud to be English!" she laughed. I laughed along, then looked at her again. "No but really, I think hot chocolate's my favorite. I could drink it all day, I think it's delicious!" she said, very enthousiastic. My huge (scary) smile came up again: I had just found my soulmate. I lived for hot chocolate. I felt like it would sound like an easy please to tell her so, so I just kept quiet and beamed at her. We got our drinks and walked out. I had no idea we were headed, I just walked. my feet carried me while my mind was occupied by Zoe. And then we stood in front of a huge park. We walked on the beautiful carefully designed little roads in between the trees and bushes. By then, we'd stoped talking, amazed by our surroundings. Eventually, we got down on a bench, which was shielded from the wind and passers-by by a bush of roses. This was the ultimate place to ask Zoe out, or to be my girlfriend, or just to kiss her again... I stressed, clueless on what should be my next move. I wasn't very experienced with girls, especially not girls as gorgeous as Zoe. What if she turned me down? That would probably mean I would never get to see her again apart from Youtube parties. I didn't know if I could handle that. I had fallen head over heels with her in less than 24 hours, and chances were I wouldn't fall out of love as quickly. Did I even want to know if this was mutual? It probably wasn't, no sane person falls in love as quick as I did with a person like myself.  We sat on the bench, still silent, sipping our coffee. Or, in my case, figuring out what to say or do. I could see Zoe was a bit nervous as well, as she was very intensely inspecting her fingernails. Even doing that she looked beautiful. Come on Alf, man up! I told myself. If you don't do it now, you'll probably never be more than friends with her. That's not what you want, is it? That wasn't what I wanted, indeed. So I cleared my throat awkwardly and spoke up, stuttering and blushing like crazy. But hey, I was doing it anyway! "So, Zoe, I was wondering..."

Zoe

It was hard trying not to give Alfie the wrong impression. I really couldn't let him show I liked him, but he kept making me laugh and I couldn't do anything but smile at him. Basically, I failed my attempt to making him not like me completely. Not that I'm the kind of girl who knows and brags about all those guys falling over her, and I didn't know if Alfie was into me, but I did know that I couldn't have been more obvious as to show him I liked him. That is, unintentionally. I could've done worse, but I really didn't mean to in this case. Anyway, he probably saw through me and I didn't want him to. If he'd ask me out, I'd say yes. Which was exactly the problem: I shouldn't. I was busy figuring all these thoughts out, looking at my fingers, when Alfie slowly cleared his throat. I braced myself for what was coming. If, if Alfie would ask me out, I needed to say no. But I also needed to make clear why: I wanted us to be something in the future. If he'd still like me by then. If he even genuine liked me now. If he didn't just want to use a girl who'd clearly fallen for him. Maybe he turned out to be just like Jordan. Maybe I was falling for the same tricks once again. NO ZOE STOP MAKING YOURSELF CRAZY! I basically shouted to myself in my head. Almost luckily, Alfie started talking just when I was about to seriously go mad at myself, causing my thoughts to shut up for a bit. 

"So, Zoe, I was wondering..." he started off. I could see his hands shaking, and in a reflex I grabbed them with mine so calm him down. STUPID ZOE WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE. I was screaming to myself again, and I let go of his hands again, meeting his gaze when I looked up. My look apparently encouraged him to go on, so he continued: "would you go out with me? Not like immediatly together or something, I know we've only just met and it would be a bit rushed, but like, as a first date thingy?" He asked me, hope sparkling in his brown eyes. I kept looking at him and he shyly bit his lip. I took a deep breath: how was I going to do this? "Alf, will you listen to me? Like, to all I have to say? Don't leave please?". I could see in his eyes that he was dissapointed. He understood that a long talk meant that I wasn't going to say yes to his invitation. I carried on though, there was no way back now. I held his hands again and this time I didn't let go, as if I could stop him if he wanted to leave.

"So Alfie, I obviously kissed you yesterday. I obviously wasn't drunk. I kissed you because I think you and I would be perfect together. We like the same things, have the same sense of humour... I just genuine think you're amazing. Plus, you are very good looking, but you've heard that before I suppose..." the last bit seemed to catch him by surprise a little bit, but he recomposed himself and let me carry on. "So, based on what I just told you, I would love to go on a date with you or even get together right here and right now, but there's one bump in the road." I looked into his eyes once again and continued. "I believe I haven't told you yesterday, but it's been a month since me and my ex Jordan broke up. Well this in itself doesn't matter either because the minute I met you on the train, all the broken thoughts about him were replaced by thoughts about you. The point is, I don't want you to be my rebound or anything." I finished, and I stayed quiet for a moment staring at a rose before meeting his gaze again. He looked puzzled, like he didn't comprehend what I was saying. "Rebound?" he asked, still looking confused. I couldn't help but laugh. "Alfred, you do know what a rebound is right?". He shook his head and I laughed even harder. Then I got myself together, a little bit embarrased by my own outburst. "A rebound is when you just got out of a relationship, and you find a new one in no time, but it doesn't work out eventually because your new significant other is really a replacement of the one you broke up with, and you keep comparing the two of them even though you know it's unfair. And in the end, you understand that you liked your rebound only because he either reminded you of your ex or was your ex's opposite or you wanted to make your ex jealous." Alfie seemed to understand now. "I want to be with you, but just not now. I don't want you to be a Jordan 2.0, I want you to be an Alfie. Does that make any sense?" He nodded, and smiled a small, fragile smile. "So... friends for now then?" he asked me. "Yes" I confirmed, and I pulled him in for a hug.

Alfie

So that's it. I didn't ask her when or how I would know if it was time for us to be together. I just sat there, my arms wrapped around her, her arms wrapped around me. after a while we pulled apart and I stood up. "I'm going back to the hotel now, get my stuff together and go home. Do you want to stay here or will you walk along Mrs. Sugg?" I asked her. She jumped up, and we walked away from the bench, back to the hotel. We walked very close to each other for a while, and Zoe reached out her hand to hold mine. Although I found this rather confusing, I held on to her hand like it was something precious. In that moment, it was. I had no idea what our 'friendship' would be like, and if and how often I would get to see her. But still, I was happy: she didn't turn me down. It could've been better, and I didn't know if she would even still like me by the time she was ready to be together, but I was more than glad to wait. 

sorry guys this chapter was a bit rubbish, I knew exactly what I wanted to happen but I just couldn't write it down beautifully I guess. Anyway, this was only the beginning, a sort of intro :) I'm trying to create a sort of realistic situation which might work with the actual events we zalfans or zalfie shippers or however you want to call us know about: a way to make room for fantasies about a very bright and happy future for our lovely couple! ;)