Happening >>Riley Matthews<<

Chapter 3

"Riley, what happened? Are you okay?" My mom asked in the car. Bleh! I hate that question. But I answered it anyway.

"Yeah. I don't even know what happened. Something just kinda took over me. Even when I knew that Maya wasn't hurt."

My mom rubbed my back. It felt good to be loved. Even though I know it's not real love.

What is happening to me?! Of course my mom loves me! No, she doesn't. She only loves you because she gave birth to you. If she wasn't a lawyer and didn't care about the law, she would've thrown you out a long time ago. What is happening?! She loves me! I know she does! Get out of my head! But you know it's true. She doesn't. Shut up!

I had a mental battle with myself and the voice in my head the whole way home. It was awful.

When we did get home, I threw my bag on the couch, barely made it to my room in time, and fell asleep on top of my covers.

I had a dream about my neighbor while I slept. This time, I was at an amusement park. I was the only one there and I was having a great time. But then he showed up. I was on one of the rollercoasters and as I was about to descend a large hill, he came and cut the track at the bottom. I couldn't stop the car and I crashed.

He then lifted me up out of the wreckage like how a mother cradles her child. He took my hand and pulled me to him like nothing had happened. Like he was my best friend. But little did I know that as he was hugging me and me hugging him back, he was rubbing a numbing cream over my shoulders and on my lower back. I was still in so much shock from what had happened that I didn't even notice. He started injecting me with this poison that killed my insides slowly and painfully. But it was only my soul. My body was now in his control and he did whatever he wanted with me. You know how they say you can never see yourself die in dreams? Well I just watched the most tragic death ever right before my eyes.

The death of Riley Matthews.

When I woke up, I picked up a pencil and my journal that I hadn't written in for over two months. It felt good to write again. To express feelings where no one will judge you for what's happening. Where no one can condemn me for feeling what I'm feeling. Where I can be alone with someone to talk to. I set down my pencil and paper when my mom came and knocked on my door.

"Yes?" I asked, displaying a fake yawn to make it seem as if she had just woken me up.

"Oh, Riley. Were you sleeping?" She sounded very concerned. I mentally laughed at her. I mean, who is even that caring anymore? Nobody I know. Including my mom. She's faking it.

"No, it's fine, Mom. Whatdoyouwant?" I slurred the last sentence together to make it seem more believable that I had been sleeping. Why should I suffer so much pain if nobody else is? Why is nobody else hurt when I can make them. I have been lying a lot recently and I'm really good at it. Maybe one day I'll become an actress.

"I just wanted to tell you that grilled cheese is on the stove. Feel free to come and get it whenever you like." I fake yawned again, said okay, and wrapped up my journal entry with a half lie. It wasn't really a lie, but it wasn't true either. How can I stop myself from lying? Cuz I don't wanna. Yes I d... No I don't! Wait... did I just win my first battle.... No! I'm not going to lie anymore. I gave myself a mental high five. Maybe I would get better.

I made my way down to the kitchen. There was grilled cheese on the stove and some soup sitting next to it. There was a bag of carrots sitting on the counter and a plate, bowl, and spoon next to the bag.

I served myself an cuddled next to my mom on the couch. We watched a show of Helping Hands. It's based on this one African American woman who is a servant to a master's wife.

It got me to thinking what our world would be like if there were still slaves in the south. Where would Zay be? His family? What about Harper? Where would she be? What if immigrants were illegal? I shuddered. I couldn't even think about it, it was just so awful.

I finished my lunch and put my dishes away. Mom gave me a few chores to do since I was feeling better. I got really mad. Wasn't I supposed to rest today? I looked up at the clock and saw that it was one thirty-five. I groaned.

School gets out at three. And I'm alone until then. Alone. Of course I'm alone. I mean why wouldn't I be alone? I'm at my best when I'm alone. Mostly because I'm alone. Do I mind? No! Not at all. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I mind. But no one else does. No one cares that I'm alone. They don't know that they're slowly tearing me apart. They don't know that. I'm the only one who does.

My pride faded away in that moment. I thought I was getting better. But no matter how hard I try, no matter how many battles I win, I'm gonna loose. I'm going to be weak instead of strong. No matter my will and strength, I will always wave my white flag. I will never get better. I will forever wallow in my misery. I will never get better. No matter what.

My chores consisted of doing the dishes, vacuuming and dusting the living room and kitchen area, cleaning the bathroom, and tidying my room. What, did my mom think it was a Satuday? Did my mom think that I was fine? Did she seriously think I was fine?!

I couldn't have it. I knocked on my mom's bedroom door.

"Mom?" I asked through her door.

"What's up, Riley?" I let myself in. My mom was on her bed, working on her laptop.

"I'm just tired and it's been a rough day. Can I just rest for the rest of the afternoon?" I pleaded with her.

She thought for a moment. "Choose one chore to do and then yes, you can rest for as long as you like. Just no tv, okay?"

"Yes, Mom. Thank you." I went over to her bed from my position in the doorway, kissed her cheek, and left. I decided to tidy my room since that's where I was going to sleep.

I cleaned off my bed, quickly organized my dresser, threw all of my dirty clothes into the hamper, and got under the covers. I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow. My neighbor seemed to be a reoccurring nightmare. This time I had to have surgery. It was awful.

I woke up sweating when the taps of my neighbor's shoes left me to die on the operating table. But when I looked over at the bay window, I saw Maya, Farkle, and Lucas waiting outside. I hate it when what's happening while you're sleeping gets in your head.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Lucas, but I quickly pushed it aside. I couldn't be happy. I refused. I went over to the window and opened it.

"Riles, are you okay?"