Happening >>Riley Matthews<<

Chapter 14

School. Now my dad had a whole new lesson to teach all of us that would most likely refer to my life and my ankle. How great is that?! Note that I am very fluent in sarcasm.

And I love that without even trying, my dad is going to end up mentioning something about my... situation and it's going to be totally awkward for Maya, Farkle, Lucas, and I. Zay was gone on vacation over the weekend and he got back last night. He went to Texas to visit his family. He's here today. And once we tell him this evening about what's going on with me, this lesson is going to be really awkward for him, too. Just watch.

My dad walked into the room. Set down his brief case (I don't even think it has anything in it. He just wants to look professional.), went to the board and wrote Secrets on it. Ding! Ding! Ding! Called it!

I looked around at my friends and all of them except Zay got this uncomfortable look on their faces. Zay saw this and I kind of laughed because he had no idea what was going on.

"Secrets," he started.

"Bravo, Matthews! Bravo!" Maya interrupted clapping her hands together. You could tell she really didn't want to be in that classroom. My dad just gave her a weird look and it was awkward throughout the entire classroom because Maya just kept clapping. I eagerly joined her because I hated the feel of it and soon Lucas and Zay did, too.

Eventually the whole class was on their feet cheering, "Matthews! Matthews! Matthews! Matthews!" My dad took a few slight bows before returning to teacher daddy.

"Guys sit down and be quiet. I have a lesson to teach." People whispered and kinda laughed as they sat down.

"Secrets are things that can prevent wars from happening. Secrets are things that have become a part of our daily lives. They corrupt our world and us."

"But can't some secrets be good, Mr. Matthews?" Lucas's voice filled the room and I forgot all about my awful life for a moment! Maybe, if I only hear his voice for the rest of my life, nothing will ever happen to me again!

"Yes, they can be, Mr. Friar. Anybody have an example of a good secret?"

Lucas raised his hand again and my dad nodded toward him. "When Riley and Maya got me elected as class president last year. I didn't know that they had gone behind my back to get that disk. That was a good secret, right?"

"When somebody throws you a surprise party!" I said, bubbling over with joy. Nobody needed to see what was happening to me.

My dad nodded. "Yes, those are both very good examples. Now does somebody have an example in the present day where it's not okay to keep a secret. Yes, Mr. Babineaux."

"It's not okay to keep a secret when you're not okay. When you're not okay, the first thing you have to do when you're not okay is tell somebody."

My eyes were the size of saucers. He didn't even know what was going on with me! Wait til he found out this afternoon.

"Can you elaborate a little bit more on that Zay?" My dad's hand gestured toward Zay's desk right behind Lucas. I was still staring at Zay as if I had seen a ghost.

Maya was a bit more calm, but I don't think she could believe what Zay was saying either. He didn't even freaking know! How is it possible that he can say that and not know?!

I mouthed to Lucas, Did you say anything? He shook his head. No, he didn't.

"Your friends and family want to be there for you. I would tell someone right away if somebody was being mean to me or I did something I felt guilty about. Because they can help me. These guys can help me through anything." He took time to look at each and every single one of us. Lucas. Maya. Me. Farkle. I winked at him and I saw Maya wink immediately after at him, too.

"Riley?" I was still stating at Zay. "Riley!" My dad's voice asked me from my thoughts. I guess he had noticed my position. Whoops... But I mean who wouldn't. I had my back turned to my father!

I am such a horrible person to turn my back on my father. And I wasn't paying attention in his class either. I should just go die in a hole right now. Neighbor, burry me because... yeah. This sucks. Life sucks. It's trying to throw me to the ground and I just can't hold on anymore.

I let go and now I'm just sinking into this dark, deep pit of despair* that I don't think I can climb out of. Because it's never ending. Those of us who are in this pit don't stop falling until we... until we... die. That's when we hit rock bottom.

"Yes?" I quick pivoted in my seat to face the front of my room and folded my hands like so.

"Are you okay?"

I looked at Farkle, Zay, Lucas, and last but certainly not least, Maya. I really looked at them. I looked at their physical appearances and their souls. The most beautiful things about each and every one of them.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm doing okay." I motioned for him to come to me with my finger. He came. I gently kissed him on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"I love you."

My dad smiled at me and said, "I'm glad you're okay. Stay that way forever. Please."

"I'll try my best, Dad." I said with this huge, goofy smile on my face that I couldn't seem to control. Actually, I could control it. I could control everything about me. You know why? Because everything I am right now is fake. I'm sorry that I lied to you, Dad. But I'm not okay. I'll try to be okay, but I don't know if I ever will be or if I end up okay with a few cuts and bruises here and there.

"Good."

Then my dad continued on with this lesson about secrets right up until the bell rang. Then, when the four of us were out in the hall, we put our arms around each other and walked to art. Well, I hobbled and didn't really put my arms around anyone, but it twas the thought that counted, right? I didn't need to put my arms around them to show them that I loved them, right?  I don't think Zay really knew what was going on, but he caught on and linked up, too.

I saw Zay give Lucas a questioning look and Lucas mouth back later. I kind of laughed due to the fact that he's going to have no idea what hit him this afternoon.

Ms. Kossal was getting the room set up for today. Yesterday, she told us that our next painting assignment would be to paint an emotion. Of course, I would have to paint a purple cat. If I didn't, Ms. Kossal would know something was wrong, even though she hates my babies. Hey, she and my neighbor should go grab coffee sometime. I'm sure they'd hit it off great. They'd have a lot to talk about. Me and all of my screw up parts.

*anybody catch that Princess Bride reference??? And it's kinda cool because Ben Savage's (Corey Matthews) older brother played the part of the little sick boy who only appears like... three times in the whole movie ;)