Happening >>Riley Matthews<<

Chapter 12

When I got home that night, I had to finish my homework. It was a nightmare. Especially with the day I had.

You know the whole happening-depressed-friends-turning-on-you-getting-crutches kind of a day. It's really hard and I don't know how to handle this. All of the backpacks were done when I returned, which meant that they had come back.

The doctor gave me crutches and told me to ice my ankle as frequently as possible and to stay off of it no matter what. I'm going to assume if walking on it saved my life, it would be okay.

And the great thing about this ankle is is that whenever I'm having a good day that needs to turn out horrible, I can just put pressure on it and everything will end up the way it should be. Me hurting for real and friends caring for fake.

I can't be happy. My neighbor won't let me. I take pride in being depressed. I want to be eaten alive. I want people to feel sorry for me, even if they don't mean it. I want the attention even though it kills me inside. But no matter what happens, my parents can't know. I don't want help. I can't have help. I can fight my own battles.

I don't care if I end up getting bullied again. I don't care if I get abused. I don't care if I fall off a cliff. I don't care if I die. If I do, I will die silently. Nobody can know my pain. Nobody will know my pain. It's just too deep. Only my neighbor can create it. Not anybody else's neighbor. Only mine.

My ankle felt like a brick as I sat down on my bed. I didn't need a cast, but he gave me a brace. And lots. And lots. Of ice.

It's like an elephant came and sat on it. A really fat elephant who had too many beans for dinner. Becuase it stinks. This whole situation stinks. Like a sock that stays on my dad's feet for too long. Like my mom's chicken. Like my artwork...

Why does everybody say my artwork sucks if they don't know me? I, in fact, love my purple cats. They're my little babies, but everyone else wants to kill them. So if everyone else wants to kill them, why shouldn't I? It's always mattered to me what other people think, why shouldn't I give them what they want? You know what? I will. Tomorrow I have art class. I will kill all the purple cats.

I was working on my algebra homework when my neighbor crawled through my window and shot a tranquilizer into my head. It hurt. I didn't mind though. I was tired anyway.

Since I couldn't see anything, all of my other senses were enriched. My skin was extremely sensitive. I could hear conversations a mile away. The smell of flowers drifted through my closed windows. Even though it's only February, New York is pretty nice. And once the flowers reached my nose, they trickled down into my mouth and I could taste them. I just couldn't see.

I lay there on my bed, not moving. My books were still spread out next to me, I could feel them. I was at peace. But just as I was almost to the point of existing, I heard a staggered breathing from across the room. Then footsteps. Creeping, crawling closer. My books were thrown to the floor with an earth-shattering thud. I jumped.

My body suddenly feet very warm as my neighbor crawled on top of me. His breath smelled of rotten strawberries and cow manure. Not the greatest mix hovering right over my mouth.

His hands began to travel down my body. I flinched as he did. It hurt so much. And no matter how much I strived, I couldn't move. Every muscle in my body wanted to escape that torture, but something was holding me back. I didn't want to escape. But it's not like my neighbor would let me anyway.

He raped me.

He stripped me of my clothing so I was naked. He tied me down so I couldn't move. He gagged me so I couldn't scream. He made me into something. I wasn't. He kissed me one last time before exiting through that precious bay window. The one where all of my memories were. There was a new one there now.

But he wasn't done yet. He crawled back through the window with that huge snarl of his and that stupid, stupid smirk. I hated him with a burning passion but I loved all the pain he was giving me. I needed more depth to my life anyway. I always thought I was a little shallow, maybe he's here to teach me a lesson.

He came to my bedside and started shaking me like there was no tomorrow.

Die!

Die!

Die

die

d

hon...

Hon...

Honey

Honey?

Riles, wake up!

I was sweating. All of my clothes were on my body and the sun was shining. It was a dream. All just a dream. I wish it hadn't been though. It would've helped me dig my pit of sadness faster. Heaven knows I need that.

Riley!

Even though my eyes were open, I hadn't seen. Maya was standing next to me, shaking me.

I hate it when things in real life affect your dreams. It seems to keep happening to me. It wasn't my neighbor shaking me, it was Maya.

"Hey Peaches."

"Are you mad at me?"

I studied her for a moment. It looked like she had done a little bit of crying, too. I can't blame her. There are a lot of things in this world to cry over. "I'll admit, I was mad at you for a little bit," I paused and looked at her. And I mean really looked at her. Her outfit, her style, her hair, her carefree attitude. At the moment it wasn't carefree, but two days ago it most certainly was. "But I could never stay mad at you, Maya. You know that. And you could never stay mad at me. If we did, it would pull us apart until we could no longer even look at each other. It would be the end of us. I don't think either of us are willing to let that happen."

She smiled, her eyes glistening, and crawled into bed next to me. "Riley?"

"Maya?"

"I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"Forgiven and forgotten." I pulled her in close and let her head rest on my shoulder. I felt her body start to shake a little bit, but I heard nothing. My hand turned her tear strained face toward me. I took my other hand and cupped her face. Using my thumbs, I wiped away her beautiful tears. I took a moment to make a connection with her. To make sure she knew that I loved her. " It's gonna be alright, Maya. We're going to be alright."

"Is it?" Her blonde hair was in its natural curl. I envied her curls, just like she wanted my waves. When you're a girl, you never seem to like your hair. Ever.

"What do you mean?" I was genuinely confused. Things always turned out okay. I don't know why Maya didn't see that.

"I'm concerned about you. I was hurt last night and that's why I said the things I said. Riles, why were you crying in your sleep just now?"

I had been crying?

"My neighbor came through the window..."

"And what did he do?"

"He raped me..."

"This is what I'm talking about. You can't control your neighbor and he keeps coming back in your head. He won't go away and I don't want him to take you away from me!" She was crying again. I'm surprised why my parents hadn't heard us yet.

"Maya, do you trust me?"

She nodded.

"Ring power."

"Ring power."

"Thunder"

"Lightning."