Happening >>Riley Matthews<<

Chapter 9

"About what?" Maya the interrogator.

"Stuff."

"Riley, you told us. You can't play that game with us anymore." Maya lifted my head up to look at her. "Understand?"

My head was going to get crick in my neck if I nodded anymore. But I did it anyway.

"Mom said they were going to be back in an hour when she texted me last. They lied to me. They forgot about me." It seemed as if we were all magnets. They all stuck together, but I was being repelled. I was on the wrong side. And my neighbor was standing in between me and them, pushing me further away than I wanted to go.

"Riley. They did not, DID NOT, forget about you. They would never. They love you. You understand?" I looked over at Maya, a Fierce Amazon Warrior dancing in her eyes.

"Yes, Ma'am." I said as if I were little kitten being put on trial by a big bad wolf.

Lucas typed something in on his computer. "What did you type?" I asked, knowing that I didn't tell him any "symptoms."

"Well, I found this website and it has a whole bunch of diseases listed..." I cut him off.

"You think I'm sick?!" I demanded, rage burning in my voice.

"Riley, calm down. We want to help." Maya attempted to throw water on my fire, but little did she know that it was a gas fire. Water just makes it worse.

"You think I have some sort of contagious disease so you're looking up how to protect yourself from it?! Well, I can tell you, Mr. Friar, that..."

"Riley! We want to help you!" Farkle shouted and startled me. I mean I guess I kinda deserved it. I stared into his eyes, knowing that what he said was true.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "This is all just really hard, okay?" I hung my head and stared at my thumbs which were occupying themselves in my lap.

"We understand that you need time, but the faster we can help you, the faster you can get better." Why did Farkle always have to be right?

Lucas' strong hand rubbed my back. Maya's hand went to my knee. I felt Farkle's gaze gently piercing its way into me, unraveling me. "We understand." They all seemed to say.

"Lucas?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"What about the website that you're on?" I asked meekly, feeling even more embarrassed than before.

"It has a list of... umm... the website calls it mental illnesses..." I took a sharp intake of air, trying to control what was coming out of my mouth. "But!" He quickly added. "There's more than just that. Anyway, you type in what the 'symptoms' are," he physically did quotation marks when he said symptoms. "And it comes up with a list of possible... umm... you get my point."

"So what did you type?"

"Believes in lies."

"Why would you say that?!"

"Because you believed that your parents forgot about you?" Thanks for butting in, Maya. I'm pretty sure I didn't invite you into this conversation. I didn't hear Lucas say anything, either.

"You also put yourself down."

"What the heck?! No I don't!"

"Your neighbor, Riley? It's all in your head. You invented him and now he won't go away." Screw you, Farkle. Screw you. Why do you have to be a genious?

"Let's see what it comes up with." Lucas pressed a key on his computer. "Huh. The only result that pops up is depression."

"That's not what's happening to me! I already checked! The definition of depression is a state of feeling sad! I am not sad, I'm just..." I paused. I had to think about it for a while. What was I? What am I? What am I feeling? I know I'm not sad, but then if not that... what is it? "...confused." I said after a view awkward moments.

"Look up the definition of sad."

"Wha-"

"Do it!" Sheesh, Farkle. Okay! I'll do it! I pulled out my phone and typed in define sad.

sad
/sad/
adjective
feeling or showing sorrow; unhappy

I read the definition out loud as Farkle just nodded his blonde head. Maya's eyes were fixated on my soul. I didn't feel safe anymore. I shouldn't have told them. They all had keys to my feelings, which I didn't. I couldn't figure out how to unlock the door and they were already inside. They claimed they were helping me get in, but when in reality, they just kept adding more locks to the door.

"Riley, are you happy?" Yes, Lucas. I am VERY happy right now! So happy! But do you know what would make me even happier? If I could smack that perfect face of yours back where it should be. In your house, Friar! With your momma, Friar! Baking cookies, Friar! Away from me, Friar! Cuz I know you're going to leave me anyway! They all do. Even my neighbor cancelled.

Yes, Farkle. I am VERY happy right now! So happy! But do you know what would make me even happier? If I could smack that genious brain of yours back where it should be. In your penthouse, Minkus! With your telescope, Minkus! Looking at Pluto, Minkus! Without me, Minkus! Cuz I know you're not going to be looking at it much longer. I gave up on Pluto two months ago.

Yes, Maya. I am VERY happy right now! So happy! But do you know what would make me even happier? If I could smack that care-free attitude of yours back to where it should be. In your apartment, Hart! With your mom, Hart! Dreaming about Shawn, Hart! Not loving me, Hart! Cuz you're too obsessed with your mom and Shawn to care about what your best friend is going through! Well, your ex-best friend. You guys split after Riley Matthews was nothing but a nothing.

"I already told you! I'm not sad or depressed! I'm just confused!"

"About what?"

"Huh?"

"What are you confused about?" Maya asked. I looked into her eyes but immediately found it uncomfortable. So I quickly averted my gaze to my ankle that was probably super swollen by this time, despite the ice pack.

"Oh...I...ummm...I'm-"

"That's what I thought."

"I'm confused about what I'm feeling! Okay?! I don't know what this is or how to deal with it!"

"So, is one of those feelings happy?" Shut up Lucas Freak Face Friar.

"Of course it is! Well, when I'm not confused, of course."

"Riley. You're nervous. You're sweating. And you just repeated yourself. You're not happy. You're unhappy..." He trailed off. I love you Farkle, but I hate you just as much.

I ran. Again. Except, this time, just like last time, I didn't get very far.