Bad Blue Woebegone (Fourtris AU)

[5]

"Tris, you don't know how thankful I am for you," Christina tells me, standing on the steps of her new home.

"You don't have to thank me. You'll be happy here. Promise me you'll make some friends." I tell her seriously, acting as if I was her mother. And in a way, I am.

"I'll promise as long as you promise to visit," She grins, waving and slipping through the door.

Promises were meant to be broken anyway.

××××

I couldn't fall asleep. I wanted to sleep, but I didn't want to wake up.

Sitting here on my cramped bathroom floor, I can't help but sit back and think. I tried to be positive, make a list of things that I had to live for. Well there's always Christina... She has other people. Within a week, she would stop mourning and would move on.

A small scream left my mouth when I dragged the blade across my wrist, watching as the blood surfaced. It was such a pretty red. That color would soon cover me like a blanket. My own soft blanket.

The scream wasn't a scream of fear or pleasure, it was of pure misery. For a reason I didn't understand, something was holding me down onto this place. I just want to float far, far away. Let the wind blow through my hair, allow my shoulders to relax as I float into a peaceful abyss.

It would seem pills would be the easiest route, but my body instantly rejects them. I can't keep them down.

I shivered as the cool tears dripped down my warm cheeks, letting the droplets mix with the blood.

I take the kitchen knife and trail it along my thigh, shivering at the cool metal.

I was okay when Christina was with me. She was a good friend, but she deserved her life. I hope she's happy, and will forever be happy.

I smiled softly at the blank face that stared back at me, I didn't hesitate as I dug the knife into my chest.

My breath caught, my mouth parted with a silent groan and I close my eyes. Relishing in the pain.

Despite the gulps of air I had to take, I relaxed. Finally, what I've always wanted is done. In just a few minutes, I can be sky bound, just as planned.

I can finally let everything go. I can go far, far away, into my happiness.

I just hope my pixie will understand.