Role Reversal

Chapter 15

"Connie"

She wasn't going to come - when her shift finished fifteen minutes ago she had gathered her belongings and made her way outside.
But something made her turn back, through the hospital doors and to his office.

Connie crossed her arms.
"What do you want Jacob?" Her voice was harsh.
Jacob sighed and looked her in the eye. "I shouldn't have said those things to you"
"Relax, I'm over it. It hasn't even crossed my mind since" she laughed.

Jacob studied Connie's face carefully.
She was hiding something, masking pain with a hard exterior.
He should know, better than anyone, what it was like to hide behind a wall.

Jacob slowly stepped closer to her and looked her directly in the eye.
Connie kept her arms tightly crossed, refused to let her emotions show.
"I know you're hurting"
Connie looked away and let out a small laugh. "You think your silly comments hurt me?"
He kept his eyes focussed on her. "I know they did"
He was getting to her, he could see the cracks appearing in her wall. "You walk around pretending that you don't care, like everything is just a game. But you do care, don't you? Why do you hide your feelings behind a false personality?"
She returned his stare. "That's a bit hypocritical coming from you, don't you think? Now, can I leave or did you actually have something important you wanted to talk to me about?"

It was time for him to explain. He took a deep breath.
"Connie, I'm sorry"
She didn't reply. But she didn't make a move to leave either, so he continued. "My daughter, Charlotte, she was involved in a car accident, 4 years ago, today. She didn't make it"
Connie looked back at Jacob, her face softened.
"Mr Masters you don't have to tell me this"

But Jacob shook his head, he had to get it all out. He had never opened up to anyone about it. Talking to Zoe about it was different, she had been through it with him, she just brought the memories of the day back. But this was a new face he could open up to. He looked away from her.
"I made a stupid decision that day. A decision, that for the last 4 years, I believed to have resulted in her death"
He looked back at Connie, who was intently listening, a concerned expression on her face.
"When my daughter arrived at the hospital, I was meant to be in resus. But I wasn't" he closed his eyes before continuing. "I was upstairs, in the storeroom, with a nurse"
Connie opened her mouth in shock.
"What I said, earlier, I had no idea, I'm so sorry"
...What have you been up to all morning anyway boss? Been sneaking around with nurses upstairs?...
The words she had said earlier repeated in her head.

"I know, and I realise now that I had no right to shout at you like that, because you had no idea"
Jacob gave her a small, reassuring smile.
"That day, I vowed to never lose my focus again - I was never going to let anything compromise it. I threw myself into my work, the only thing I had left in my life. So that's what I've done, for the last 4 years, and nothing has come close to breaking my focus. Until you arrived. There's something about you Connie, that I can't resist. I couldn't let it happen though, couldn't allow myself to lose focus, so tried to block out the thoughts, because you had become-"

Connie stepped closer, now centimetres from his face and looked up into his eyes as she finished his sentence. "a distraction"

Silence filled the room.
Neither could drop their gaze.

Jacob began to lift his arm to her cheek, but stopped.

Connie willed her arms to move around his neck, but they wouldn't.

Both were desperate for each other's touch.
But both unable to make a move.

They simultaneously looked away.

Connie gave Jacob a small smile. "I should be going. I'm sorry, Mr Masters, about your daughter"
Jacob returned the smile as Connie walked away.