Love Is Blind....

3. Induction

---Tötti's P.O.V.---

Tötti closed the door, pressing her back against it, her body trembling as her blood rushed through her temples, her ears straining to hear him outside her door. He just stood there for several seconds, his heart beating slightly faster than normal, before turning, and shuffling off slowly down the hall. She broke then, something she'd sworn she'd never do, and slid down the door to sit on the floor, burying her face in her knees as she cried softly. Closing the bond firmly so he couldn't feel her, she just cried. How could it hurt so much? How could not being wanted again, hurt, now, after being unwanted so many other times? What made this time any different?

"Mate...." Her wolf keened inside her chest, making it ache until she had to grab at her chest, and try hard to breathe. She felt the hole in her chest open again, and pressure settled on her chest like a ten ton weight, forcing the breath out of her, and slowly killing her.

Tötti whimpered softly. "Breathe...." She coaxed her wolf spirit. "Please breathe.... It will be okay...soon we will run...." She told her. But her wolf wouldn't listen.

"Why doesn't he want us?" Her wolf cried despairingly, breaking Tötti's heart as she swallowed.

"Because he doesn't like me...it's my fault. It has nothing to do with you at all, you were perfect.... It was me that didn't stand up to his expectations. He doesn't want a blind mate...." Tötti whispered back to her wolf, tipping her head back as she felt her wolf soul's shock, then outrage, then compassion. She could feel her wolf wrapping around her soul, soothing the rejection she felt.

"Well I am always here. I see nothing wrong with you. You are perfect to me, for me." Tötti's wolf cooed. They just sat there for a long time, rocking gently back and forth, taking comfort in each other's presense.

Finally they stood, walking towards the bed, as Tötti stripped out of her jacket, and fingered the shirt that Niko had given her. It was long, with the sleeves having been cut off, and she suspected it was of a dark color. It smelled of him. She couldn't resist bringing the fabric to her face, and breathing in deeply. A sob threatened to escape from her throat, as she covered her mouth with her hand, and clutched the shirt to her chest.

"Easy girl...." Her wolf soothed. Tötti nodded as she wiped the fresh tears from her eyes, and pulled the shirt gingerly over her head. It hung almost to her knees on her. Pushing herself up onto the edge of the bed, Tötti sat and waited, willing her mind to go blank.

Maybe thirty minutes later, there was a light knock on the door. Tötti called out quietly, and Nattalie stepped into her room, clutching some clothing to her chest, as she looked Tötti over. She tsked as she closed the door behind her, and was across the room in a few strides, dropping the clothes on the bed. Pulling a pair of black stretch biker shorts, she handed them to Tötti, as she turned around so that Tötti had some privacy as she pulled the snug as a glove shorts on.

"Niko told me what happened, or at least his version of it. He also mentioned that you would definately be needing to go shopping now." Nattalie announced matter o' factly.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tötti replied quietly, feeling Nattalie's unspoken and prying questions. Nattalie made a humphing sound, as she folded her arms across her chest, and turned around, inspecting Tötti with a critical eye.

She took a step forward, dropping her arms to her side, then reaching up to brush Tötti's bangs behind her ear, frowning when she flinched at the contact. "Is it true that you have a silver wolf?" Nattalie asked in a whisper of awe. Tötti turned, shrugging a shoulder.

"That's what I'm told." She replied vaguely. "I'm guessing it's not very common in these parts." she added.

"No. Not even remotely. Around here, wolves are big, varying from shades of brown, to dark greys, black, reddish, and charcoal. White, is something not to be found in these parts. And Jay says you're graceful, and elegant, but dainty small.... Where are you from?" Nattalie pressed.