Love Is Blind....

6. Itching for a Run [Part 1]

"Soooo, you're a quick study, huh?" Niko asked casually as they started in on their food. Tötti shrugged in answer.

"With my life, I have to be." She replied in just as nonchalant a manner as he had, causing him to frown. Neither him nor his wolf liked how rough a life she had lived, and from no fault of her own, but from those that had been around her to have caused it. It made him furious, and his wolf anxious, his skin itching for release. Her fingers suddenly brushed feather light across the back of his fisted hand, causing him to jump and startle from his anxious, perturbed thoughts. "Don't be mad. It's a long time ago. There's nothing you can do for it now.... " She murmured, her expression so full of sincerity and concern.

"But you should never have had to go through such things." Niko replied, his voice so rough his words came out as more of a growl, making his words sound harsher than he meant. He paused to clear his throat, before continuing on in a more gentle tone of voice. "It pains me to know that you were forced to live in such a way."

"I'm sure that's just the mate bond that makes you feel that way." Tötti interjected in a blank voice, her expression bland, almost icy with scorn.

Niko flinched before replying with a firm, "No. It's not just because of the bond. I would feel the same way to any wolf in your situation. No wolf should ever endure that kind of experience." Niko told her, his tone more serious than a heart attack. He watched her visibly swallow.

"I'm sorry.... " She murmured. Niko heaved a sigh, looking away from her.

"Don't be. You haven't known the life most wolves do. Pack is strength, security, and trust. We love without holding back. When we lose one, we all feel the pain. They're is no unnoticed loss. Every wolf is important, is looked after. Family bonds may be stronger, but the pack ties are still important. You are pack now Tötti. Family. So long as you are my mate. And even if you weren't, you would still be welcome here whenever you like ." Niko told her, cupping her hand delicately between his. She swallowed hard, resisting the urge to pull her hand away from him. Her wolf keened and hungered for his affection, self preservation demanded she distance herself from such connections, her dignity begging to refuse such sympathy, and her heart ached with an unfamiliar desire and want to open up, to be held, to allow her sallow wounds to be mended. She did not want to be seen as a victim though, but a survivor. Strong enough to take what the world dishes her and then some, and fully capable of taking care of herself. These emotions swirling up inside her, she didn't know what to make of them.

Tötti's skin began to itch with anxiety. Her fight or flight reflex clawing to burst free. She wanted so badly to run, to leave, to get away from the sudden fragility she felt around him, the vulnerability that had crept up on her, but there was no escaping was there? These things wouldn't just disappear. What would her people think of her if they'd known she contemplated running away from her problems? That wasn't how her parents had raised her. They'd taught her to never run away, to face problems head on instead of taking the easy way and tucking trail. Balling her hand into a fist in the table cloth, she swallowed her pride, bowing her head.

"Thank you." she whispered, her voice barely audible. Thick locks of her snow white hair falling in curtains around her face, hiding the murky depths of her unfocused nearly black eyes. Reaching out, Niko brushed the backs of his knuckles along her cheek, before covering her hand with his.

"Hey.... They're is nothing to thank. I'm...sorry...." he murmured almost sheepishly.

"For what?" She asked quietly.

Looking up at her, Niko answered sincerely, "For bringing up your hurts.... For...being such a jerk.... For being insensitive...and saying those hateful things before.... For...gawd! Just everything! I'm so sorry about everything I've done. Can...can we start over again? I really don't want us to be on opposing sides anymore....?" Niko swallowed, staring up at her pleadingly, his voice laced with such sincerity, that it made a tiny little part of her heart ache and reach out to him.

After chewing her lip and considering him for a long moment, Tötti finally murmured a quiet, "Okay." His hand squeezed hers just a little, showing her his appreciation of her acceptance.

"Come on. Let's get out of here and walk around for a bit. Portuguese streets have a lot to offer as far as senses go." Niko urged, standing and pulling her hand with him, guiding her out of her seat and leading her away from the cozy little restaurant, pausing only long enough to speak quietly to the patron, whom dipped his head respectfully, before ushering them off.

*****

Walking down the bustling streets was an experience Tötti wasn't sure she could ever get used to. Her senses were to sharp, to open, that the everyday bustle was almost too overwhelming. The sounds of life going on was obnoxious, and smothering, and left her feeling to raw, to open to the abrasiveness of it. The inability to be able to sense out danger, and possible threats, was a very frightening ideal. There were times when she found herself clutching to Niko's hand for dear life, when she realized belatedly that he had never released her hand since comforting and seeking forgiveness from her. Her heart trilled at the firm grip he maintained on her hand.

"Security. Safety. He will protect us from harm." Her wolf seemed to whisper. Tötti forced herself to relax, to trust him, to know that he would never allow bodily harm to ever reach her. She was Pack now, he had said so, and Pack protected it's own. Blowing out a long slow breath, she allowed her shoulders to relax, and focused on the steady trickle of descriptive ramble that Niko was feeding her, almost verging on babbling, and causing a little giggle to burble up through her lips. Niko paused, momentarily stuttering as he regarded her with surprise.

"I'm sorry, go on, Nikolai. I won't interrupt again." Tötti promised with a little smile, a faint blush stealing over her cheeks. Cocking his head as he regarded her with amusement, he decided he liked her giggle.

"Come, I must take you to the gardens.... They are simply wonderful." Niko murmured wistfully. Tötti could have almost sworn she caught an undertone of...something else, in his words, but decided not to push it. He would tell her in his own time. So they walked, hand in hand. Him leading, with her following. She felt her breath catch as she thought wryly, Well this is a first. Her lips twitched up just the faintest bit with wryness.

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---AUTHOR'S NOTE---

Okay first off, I am soooo sorry, Dawls!!! I've just had so much lack of creative thought process, and I'm such a lousy constant when it comes to routine or schedule! >.<

Anyways I'd like to dedicate this chapter to bbwest97 for kicking me back into motion. Thanks for the motivation, Dawling, you're a real sweetheart. You're all sweethearts, and I'm always so appreciative of ya'lls patience with me. Hope y'all enjoy, and sorry, I know it's probably pretty short. :P

ANYWHOSE...as always I am always open to suggestions and ideas, your thoughts and comments will be forever welcome! Don't hold back!

You know how things go!

COMMENT. VOTE. DO BOTH.

THANKS!
-aBrownEyedGurl [a.k.a. Christie]