ill wait

warm smile

the next day was a blur. but today, i had decided i would talk to joslyn about it, so at lunch i made sure we ate alone so no one would hear since i didnt want to be the one starting gay rumors about ty.
"so what did you want to talk to me about?" joslyn asked when we decided that the hallway outside of the home ec class was a good place to eat"but i have to tell you something too"
"okay well um-" i paused. how do you tell your life long crush that your gay friend asked you out and you are seriously questioning your sexuality because of it. i sure as hell didnt know and i still think of it as one of the most awkward conversations ever. "can you keep a secret?"
"of course. anything austin"
i nodded. "well the thing is-its like- um...you know tyler?"
"hancock?"
"yeah well, hes like my bestfriend so you cant tell anyone what im telling you. swear?"
she made and 'x' over her heart with her finger and nodded "swear."
"you see, hrs got- he figured- he just ..told me...er he-" i sighed, struggling to find the right words.i burowwed my eyebrows and looked at her. "yesterday, he told me he's gay"
her eyes got wide and then she let out a chuckle "well...no offense but, duh"
"what do you mean?"
"well he gets good grades, hangs out with girls and is always checking guys out. especially you. im suprised you didnt see it."
i kind of was to, when she put it like that, "i just kind of figured he was a big flirt"
she laughed a bit more "wow. okay is that all or is there more?"
"more but we can save that for another time i guess. what did you want to tell me?"
she took a swig of her water and got quiet. "well you know how you've had a crush on me for like, ever?"
i blushed and i could feel my cheeks get hot. i tried to speak but all i could force out was a faint little "oh"
then she got red as well and a smirk tickled her lips."yeah, well the thing is...i kind of like you too."
the next minute or so was kind of hazy but the way i remember it, my heart fell out of my mouth.
she didnt talk and neither did i. we just sat there in silence until the bell rang, but neither of us moved. she took a deep breath and looked at me. i fixed my eyes on hers and let out breath i didnt know i was holding. next thing i know she leaned in and kissed me, i kissed back and i swear i saw fireworks underneath my eyelids. her hand snaked around my neck, mine going around her waist. then it stopped. she smiled a warm smile. then she got up, threw her lunch away and left for class, leaving me stunned and quite sensational.
}~{
tyler walked into class late again, some mud on his jeans and looking pissed. i didnt want to ask. he plopped down beside me and put his coffee in his bag. he put his stuff in the desk and looked at his shoes, forehead in his hands.
"ty..i-"
"dont" his nose was stuffed up "this isnt about you-just... dont worry about it"
"okay."
i probably should have cared a little more, but considering the circumstance, i decided to let it pass.
i shouldnt have let it pass.