Some how I ended were I started each and every time. Not able to smile and the cheeky grin with the fear of everyone. I still wanna die.. Is that and option? I can't be saved forever my love. I bleed and bleed and I don't feel the pain but I hate the scars and I don't care anymore. Each one tells a story of its own. People ask and I choose to ignore. The long sleeves and the constant jeans and leggings no one will see. I bleed slightly I have screwed up and than it will be even worse. It's bad enough in already crazy and I don't want the attention. And I not selfish. People say the one who try to kill them selves of selfharm are selfish and think of them selves but in reality we are thinking of everyone. So many people would be happy without me so many people would finally be glad. I never wanted this I never did anything to cause this. People find Me and I make friends with the wrong. Pricing and Hair colour weed and drugs life is still like a simple drop of alcohol. I'm already dying and no one is here to save me or caught my breath.
The frost on the morning window in the winter is so beautiful
The sunrise on a June morning is perfect
A thunderstorm in the April is just right
And the change of fall is what I look for.
But not for long. The dramatic change is all I want. I have done everything from dying my hair to getting pricing to even dating girls. Nothing seemed to be right. I love pricing I really like girls and I love different colors but its what no one sees on the inside. Wanted to die already wanting to finally be free. I can't breath without something going wrong getting blamed for everything. And everything. Things going missing apparently my fault. Yes I don't have the best past but I wouldn't do that. Can't you see I'm trying to change but you won't let me. You hold me to my title of something im not. You can learn a lesson but you can't teach it to me. I have to learn my self face the world. Let me be can you see I want to be free. Love only lies because it dies and you hold my tight till we find the light and than you magically walk away there is no more fight. I'm not strong nor weak but there's nothing left.
