Living For You (Solangelo Fanfic)

Existing

The day was fading into night. The stars peeking out from the blue blankets of day. I sat against Nico's door, my head lying against it.

"Hey Nico." I called, I didn't have to say it loudly, Nico was lying on the other side.

"Yeah Will?" Nico said, his voice a little deep but mostly light, like a feather.

"Do you ever wonder why we exist? Or if we exist? I mean what purpose do we serve? We'll all die one day and then there'll be nothing of us but dust. What's the point in that?" My question lingered for a second. I could hear Nico breathe sharply.

"I don't really have the answer to that, Will. But I think once there's life, it becomes for each other. I think everyone lives for the sake of helping each other. To make them happy or to impact each other's life in one shape or form. Until there is no life, and then we can't help anymore. But either way we all take effect somehow." Nico said. It made sense in a way. He had a viewpoint that no one else had. He watched people turn to dust and no longer matter. He watched people be forgotten, not only watched, but he spoke with them as well. Whereas I was on the other side of things. I brought life into the world, or I saved it. I made the path for people, but I never got to see it.

"Nico you should come outside, there're stars out." I said, wanting to see his face.

"Okay." He whispered into the door.
I sat up and watched him open it. He looked at me with those eyes of his. The sun was still setting and his brown eyes reflected the rays of colors. They were no longer just brown. They were so much more. They were an entire world of swirling colors that came out to be red and orange and fiery beacons of life.

"You're beautiful, y'know" I commented. I always said these thing aloud. His reaction was always the same. Blushing and shaking his head no.

"Yes you are." And then he'd leave it that, cause he didn't want to argue.

We both looked at the stars. They twinkled brightly. Almost to confirm what Nico said about life earlier. If that theory turned out to be true then that meant we all lived for each other. I kind of liked that, it made me feel less hollow.

"About that question of us not existing." Nico suddenly spoke. I liked that about him. He only spoke when he felt justice to it. It only made me love him more.

"I don't really know if we actually exist. This could all be in our head for all we know. But there's not really a way out of it. The only thing we can do is move on and not dwell on it. I want it to be real." He looked at me, His hair in every direction. A pause in the air. "For many reasons, in fact. But whether that holds true or not can't really apply to such a small thing like me." He shrugged his shoulders and clasped his hands between his legs. The jacket he wore was a dark grey and it bagged at the ends. He looked very cute in it and I wanted to kiss that hypothetical brain of his, but he wouldn't like that.

"Yeah, but we also would have to take into consideration if we do exist how small we are. We could just be an atom. An atom that is a part of a nail or something. Our lifetimes only a blink of an eye to other creatures. That really in the expanse of all things, unimportant." I replied back.
He wrinkled his eyebrows, his nose twiching. He looked up at the stars which lights were so far away and so very old. That years in those stars have already passed, and really we were just looking at the past.

"But to us we aren't unimportant. We are bigger than the blades solangelo of grass and we're bigger than ants. But the ants still work day in and day out, and the grass still produces sugar so it can perform photosynthesis. The bigger picture isn't always the most important. Sometimes the small one can have the most effect." Nico looked at me again. His eyes focused on me. I breathed in his scent. Sweet and citrus-y. His shirt black as usual and loose on him.

"Will, you're not unimportant. You're very important." Nico gave me a gentle shove.

"At least you are to me." His voice quiet.

I couldn't remember the exact moment I fell in love with Nico. Whether it was when I saw him fight. Or whether it was when I was caring for home for those three day. But I knew I loved him. And I wanted to tell him everything about myself. Give him my trust and just let him in, so he would let me in. But then Morgan came to my mind and I felt stifled for a moment. The shock always fresh and hurt.

"Nico, you have no idea how much you mean to me." He didn't, not really.
He blushed and I took his hand in mine, he didn't pull away. We both leaned against the door of his cabin and looked at the stars. His hand in mine and my entire life in his.
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Hey guys this chapter has questions I constantly ponder about. Do you guys wonder about this too? This chapter is kind of longer, let me know if you like it this way. There'll be some humor in the next chapter, so thanks babes! Love you, jellybeans
~Jellybeanswee