Cupid and I

Chapter 18: Broken

Treavor thankfully arrived just on time when kuya's already finish with his work. I cannot bear staying in this quiet place. It just makes me think and remember Clint and what he did to me. Fuck. It fucking hurts.

Kuya once asked me why it so hard for me to trust people. I didn't answer him. Instead, I asked him back. "Why is it so hard for them to keep their promise?"

He didn't answer me too. I guess we both know that things like this, especially trust is a really big word. So big people can easily leave it behind when it already feels like a burden to them.

Trusting is one thing. Breaking your trust is another.

Betrayal, pain, frustration. You'll feel it all at once especially when someone you love breaks your trust. And it is not just the ordinary kind of pain. Its a very painful pain. A pain that can shatter all that is left of you.

It is only after Treavor left me that I finally understood what kind of pain it is. A pain that shatters all that is left of me. A pain that made me shut myself off to the world. A pain that made me change. A pain that I am actually thankful now.

Then Kuya told me, "If someone breaks your trust, don't feel stupid for trusting them. You didn't do anything wrong, they're just an untrustworthy person."

Untrustworthy.

I wonder if Clint is someone untrustworthy. He breaks my trust so he must be. But I can't just think bad of him right now. No matter how bad or painfully of what he did to me, I can't just be mad at him. Not after knowing that he is finally happy now. With Ate Max.

"You have the right to be mad, bebs."

I wiped away the tears that keeps falling from my eyes. They just seem to like to fall all at once right now. I keep wiping them until Treavor hold my hands and pull me to him. I close my eyes shut and cry against his chest, holding tightly at the end of his shirt.

"Be mad, Chloe. Shout. Blame him for your tears. Do whatever you think can make you feel better. Wag ka lang umiyak ng ganyan, tahimik. Natatakot ako e," he said while hushing me. He is brush my hair repeatedly.

I cry harder. Maybe because what he said is true. I should be mad. I should shout. I should blame him for my tears. Or maybe, I am crying harder because no matter what he will told me, I won't be able to be mad at Clint.

"I c-can't," I said in between sobs. Niyakap niya ako ng mas mahigpit dahilan para mas maiyak ako. What did I do wrong for me to experience this kind of pain twice.

What's funny is that the first guy who breaks me is now consoling me with my second breakage.

Clint was there to comfort me, too. He's the one who somehow helped me to overcome the pain I was experiencing at that time. He's my inspiration to move on. To forget about Treavor. Of what he did to me.

And now Teeavor is doing the same. He's here to comfort me when Clint breaks me. He is saying the words Clint should have told me when he left, if only he knew about Treavor and I.

Alam kong hindi dapat siya yung kasama ko ngayon. Kasi isa rin siya sa mga nakasakit sa akin. But I have no other choice. Ayokong ipaalam pa sa iba ang nangyari. Ayokong maging katatawanan na naman. Felice would definitely use this against me if she knew. So I'm taking any risk. At least Treavor knows and understand the situation. Because he did the same thing to me.

Screw it. That's how twisted my life is. So fucking twisted.

My phone rings. I didn't dare pull it out of my pocket. Whoever is calling is not important for me right now. The ringing stops just when Treavor's phone started to ring.