The Life of a Teenage Drug Addict

Chapter 7

-----
Picture of Rebecca above.
-----

"I can't do this," I said with a groan, dropping my head onto my opened physics books.
The entire night I'd been telling myself the exact opposite, trying to force myself to study for the large test before Christmas Break. This test was, of course, one of the two most important of the year, since it was the semester exam. I'd only been doing well on my homework and I couldn't afford to bomb this test. Sure, I still had another good couple weeks to cram for all my tests, but I wasn't going to take the chance.
In the months that had passed between the first week of school and this moment, life had started changing for me. Most of my classes were going well, I'd applied to Yale, Stanford, and Notre Dame, Trevor and I were officially dating-which didn't make my parents very happy, calling him a distraction, and I'd become one of the best known prescription drug dealers in my district.
   After giving Daniel my Valium, he spread my name to a few friends. I was a little pissed at first, but his friends were willing to pay for what they needed. And I needed the money. Lucky for me, my parents practically had their own fully stocked pharmacy. Need a Paxil? No problem. Bupropion? I got you. Viagra? Apparently my mother found my dad inadequate, so we had a truckload.
   Since my parents had begun to cut my allowance, I needed money since I didn't have time for a job. And these kids were giving it to me. So I took the name of drug dealer and started helping kids with problems. I was doing good things for kids who needed some help.
   I pulled my hair up sloppily and gazed out my large bedroom windows, watching as the moon rose. Why couldn't I freaking study?
   Deciding I need a break, I ran downstairs and grabbed a Diet Coke from the fridge and went right back upstairs, trying to be quiet since my parents were having a movie night and the neighbors were over. When I sat back at my desk, a familiar glint on my dresser caught my eye. I stood once more and walked over, grabbing the small China box my grandmother had gotten me when I was six after she'd gone on a trip to Beijing.
   Popping open the box, I found two rings, a stick of gum, pearl earrings, and two small, white pills. I delicately picked up the Ritalin and set the box down, rolling the pills in my hand.
   They could help me study, right? And that's what I needed right now. Help. Besides, if I didn't think I would need it, I wouldn't have taken them from Daniel. Right?
   I moved back to my desk and sat, taking a swig of my Coke and popped the pills into my mouth, swallowing loudly and relaxing back against my chair. They'd take a bit to kick in, so I decided to be as productive as I could before then. I went a cleaned my bathroom, adjusted the throw pillows on my bed, folded laundry, and even watered the plant that I kept on the small loft. Finally, I sat down at my desk and got to work.

   After finishing the chapter and taking two sets of notes, I yawned and looked at the clock, surprised to see it was almost five in the morning and I had four texts from Trevor.
   I had really studied for about eight hours straight? My record was only five before tonight. I couldn't help but be a little... proud that I'd disciplined myself for that long. Although it wasn't all me, mostly the Ritalin, I was still happy I'd done so much work in one sitting. I couldn't help but want to try it again. The whole situation with Daniel was a godsend.
   I quickly stood and stripped from my clothes as I walked to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and popping in my retainer with a satisfying click. I then went to my bed and collapsed, pulling out my phone to reply to Trevor.
   "Sorry, I was a studying." I replied to his multiple texts asking what I was up to and if I wanted to go out.
   His reply didn't come until a good ten minutes later. "Well, look outside your window."
   I made a face to myself a rolled out of bed, looking through one of my windows to see Trevor standing in my front lawn with his hands in the pockets of his winter coat. Quickly, I threw open my window and automatically wrapped my arms around myself to protect my skin from the bitter cold, also, to cover up myself up a bit since I only wore my bra and underwear.
   Trevor flashed me his usual smile and pointed towards my front door. I nodded and closed my window, changing into shorts and a t-shirt before running quietly down the stairs and to the front door. I opened it and smiled as Trevor wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground in a hug. "Studying?" He murmured against my neck, kissing softly, "until five in the morning?"
   "Yeah," I whispered, "I get crazy on Friday nights."
   He laughed lowly against my skin before setting me down and closing the door. I took his hand and led him upstairs after he took off his shoes and held them in his free hand.
   Trevor set his boots down in my bathroom and stripped out of his jacket before flicking off the lights and snuggling next to me in bed, wrapping his arm around my waist and his face into the crook of my neck.
   "I haven't seen you in two weeks except for in physics. I've missed you." He pulled away my shirt collar and planted kisses along my shoulder, making me giggle.
   "I'm sorry," I turned in his grasp and lay on my back, facing him. "You just know how busy I can be..." I played, absentmindedly, with the couple buttons at the top of Trevor's shirt.
   "Yeah. I know. I just wish you weren't always so busy." Trevor sat up on his elbow, grabbing my hand and pressing it to his lips. We looked into each others eyes for what seemed like too long before he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. First slowly and softly, but growing more heated as time went on.
   When I finally came up for air, Trevor was on top of me, straddling my hips. I didn't have enough time to assess the situation before his lips were back on mine and I was too distracted to think. But suddenly, I felt his cold hand easing up my shirt, slowly and hesitantly, before cupping my left breast and squeezing gently.
   It didn't feel... great. Just surprising. But it was enough for a small gasp to break between my lips. Trevor pulled away instantly, inspecting my face. "Are you okay?" He asked, his hands resting along my belly for support.
   "Yeah. Fine. I just... uh..." I bit my lip, blush rising in my cheeks. "No ones ever touched me there before."
   A cheeky smile took over Trevor's face. "You're a virgin, Miles?"
   "Shut up," I laughed with embarrassment and hit his chest lightly.
   "Don't worry," he took one hand from its spot along my abdomen and moved a hair away from my cheek. "I think it's cute. A little surprising, even. I'm not a fuckboy, so I'm not just in it for your virginity." He laid a kiss on my lips gently. "Just let me know when you want to feel more than what I'd just done. Which isn't much."
   I smiled and kissed him slowly. "I don't think tonight it a great time, Trev. We've only been dating for a few months."
   "I know." He kissed me again before rolling off, resting his hand back in my abdomen and kissing my cheek. "I can wait until you're ready. Until then, try and get some sleep, beautiful."
   I smiled and closed my eyes, resting my cheek against his chest and falling asleep to the steady sound of his heartbeat.