There are times when I fell lonely, most of the times it is because you are being distracted by matters which I cannot comprehend. There are moments in which I fell distance is growing between us, moments that make me suffer the most. I told God about you and I will let you know tonight what his answer was.
He told me to look back because I am losing sight of the moments that defined our connection, the foundation on which we built everything so far. He told me to remember what I felt like 5 years ago, when I first saw you as the night my destiny took a wild turn, because it is that night that made me who am. So I thought to myself: "That night, I will never forget it or regret it. It is in that night when I have first seen my soulmate, the night that defined the person that I am today, that one simple moment, an exchange of gazes, took me on a road which I thought to be only a matter of fairytales. But you, two sparking eyes on a cold rainy night, made me realize that I was in big trouble, because I started to fell like I was blind this whole time."
He then told me to think about that spring day in which you managed to completely win my heart, the day I saw you in the entirety of your grace. "Do you remember that it only took a heartbeat, a split second for your soul to burn in flames because of the overwhelming, exciting and unknown feeling you have experienced on that day. Yes, it was then you first tasted the sweetness of my most powerful creation, love." Truth is I did remember, I remember it so well, that day my heart started beating in such a new and confusing way, yet in a manner that made me truly feel alive. She was dancing, and I remember that in order to execute a step, she raised her right foot off the ground, and by the moment it touch the ground, I have already fallen in love with her. It is funny how people fall in love, it is in one simple moment, as a leaf falling to the ground, that we experience the overwhelming emotion, that suddenly gives us a reason to believe that we have been dead all this time, because nothing made me fell more alive that loving her.
He said, "It is true that you suffered, I watched you while you bled your heart, each day, drip by drip, for such a long time, but I have also seen that the flame that went off in your heart always cauterized the wounds. Do you know who you have to thank for that?" I answered, "Of course I know, I have her by my side all the times." He was right, it was not my love for her that made me suffer, but the tragedy of an unshared love, that made destroy myself day by day. I had no comfort, but the only thing she left behind, my love for her was as pure as always and it held back my demons from annihilating my soul. It was just as scaring a pack of wolves with a simple, yet powerful torch.
"I know, love demands sacrifice, nothing as good as love comes easily. True love breaks the boundaries of time. You might not know it, but when you thought that you lost your emotions for her, you just got distracted. If you do not believe me, just thing of the moment that you was her on March the 5th, do you remember what you felt on that day?" - "Yes, I do remember, I do remember it so well..." It was like the day I fell in love with her completely, the warmth of fires I long forgot existed slowly melted the icy prison in which her memory was sealed away. "So this is what happens when a spark meets gasoline. I saw her and once more I was back to where it all began. It was as seeing a ghost, a ghost of a past I missed so dearly, the memory of the promise to fill the void left by her departure. You are right, I loved her all these years, but I needed something to remind me that. The image of her entering the room. My flame grew stronger with each of her step, and it burned so bright, even though it had no air to fuel itself, because her dazzling appearance took my breath away. I once more fell in love with her and I didn't even got to exchange a word with her."
"Do you remember the nights that followed? I do, and believe me when I say it, you have never been happier in your life. I watched upon you because those long, cold walks filled me with peace, made me taste my own medicine. For moments like these I have devised love for. I felt your heart pound against your chest, as the feeling to connect with her grew with each step you took in the darkness of the park. It was freezing outside, yet the two of you stood one by another for hours. I tell you now son, you better listen closely, don't be a fool. She needs you, she was hurt badly in your absence and I know your heart wouldn't allow to happen again. She now loves you and treasures you more than you think. Do you remember the song Salvation by Gabrielle Alpin, you told her jokingly that that song was about yourself. I promise you were not wrong. She needs you, she always did, but people don't really know what they got until it's gone. It may have been in bits and pieces, but you and her gave each other the best of you. Stand beside her and watch her bloom in the woman she ought to become. She loves you because you tames her demons and gave her peace, a haven where she can rest her soul. She found the greatest comfort in your arms. Hold her as close to your heart as you can, boy, because she is only holding to it to warm her hands, she has no intention of ripping it off. She belongs to you, son, she always has, you see, soulmates tend to be drawn to one and other, no matter what, you will always love her, if you hadn't stopped for such a long time, you will never do, so do love her, my child, because I promise you that the love she feels for you is in the most profound and pure state. She is only yours to keep, I made sure on the 6th day that soulmates can find a way to one and other, even is one should go in hell, and one should be a guest of my garden, they will always find a way to be together."
"You are right, love demands sacrifice and we both paid so far, but we will have to keep on paying. I sure will, because there is no chance on earth I am giving up on this extraordinary being that I have the honor of spending my life with. I will always be there for her, no matter the cost, because no cost will ever be greater than losing her - So, my love, know this: I am not going anywhere, I am here to stay for the whole eternity of time. I have yet to see the best of you, until then, you have my soul to keep as your own, it is only yours to hold, it was made solely for this purpose."
I love you, I always had, and I always will - never forget that, I know I will never let you do so!
I will always choose you...
It is a promise, a promise sealed with blood and tears.
