The chance

chapter 11

We had finally reached our destination and the whole walk over here he held my hand.
It felt nice.
I liked being able to conversate with a boy who didn't just want to get in my pants,
I usually hate the way someone's hand feel when coming in contact with me.
I usually hate being so close to someone that I can hear their heart beat.
I usually hate having to let people in, because I don't know who they really are.

But I don't want to grow to hate this boy. He's breaking down my walls, and it's terrifying me. I'm scared that one day he'll know so much about me maybe even more than I know about myself.
I'm scared that once he's figured me out, he grows to hate me like I've grown to hate myself.
I look up at him to study his features.
I love his eyes, and I love his smile.
I like the way his eyes light up when he talks about his favorite band , I love the way he tells me stories about when he was a kid,And the way he tells them is as if he was reliving them.
I love how he tells me what he hates about people, I love how he tells me about his crazy theory about 'space cows' .

I love how he has made a story about "a cute cheap swimming pool"  , and I love that it was about me. I love how he makes up funny yet cute nicknames and how he compliments my colorful hair  but at the same time teases me about looking like " a cheap swimming pool".

Don't fall in love with him.

I forgot about that. I can't do this. No nono.
I will not fall for someone again and fuck myself up even more.
Fuck no.
I will stay in terms of friends, for as long as we can.

"So this is our adventure??" I say as I look to see the beautiful scenery.  It was breathtaking , like holy crap.
It was so absolutely beautiful.
I looked up to see the clear sky; the stars looks brighter than I had ever seen them.
I heard the sounds of different animals throughout the forest like path. The leaves on the bushes and trees rustled against each other and the warm spring wind blew in out faces .

"Do you not like it?" He asked, worry filling his eyes.

"No.." I began to say. His eyes darkened and his facial features fell.

"I love it luke!"  I jumped on him and hugged him. I HUGGED HIM HARD. His arms wrapped around my waist and squeezed me tighter than I squeezed him.
"Okay .. I can't breath.."I tried to tell him.
"Sorry." He said awkwardly. I just smiled at him, to happy with his presence to say anything.

We layed on the blanket he put on the ground and looked at the stars in the sky. It felt just like a movie , and man I was loving it. We held hands the whole time , making the situation so much more comfortable for me.

"Do you think aliens exsist?" He asked me out of no where. He didn't turn to talk to me, he just kept his gaze on the stars above us .  He looked at them as if he was wishing they would come down and tell him all the secrets of the world.

"Well there's a pretty big probability that they do."I answered him.
That's when his gaze broke from the stars to meet mine. He looked so offended and I had no idea why.

"No, I don't want no 'probability' I don't want to hear what is told to everyone. I want you to tell me what is going through your own mind."
He kept staring at me, waiting for my answer. I had never really thought of this without thinking of probability. 
 
"Yes. I do think there is .  Like how can we be the only people or creatures to exsist right?" I began to speak.  He layed back down and looked back at the stars.
"I mean who knows , maybe they're the ones who created Human kind?"
He looked at me as if I was the craziest person on earth.
" are you stupid? " He asked.
Well that hurt. I looked down at my hands and questioned if I should keep talking to make him see why I believe so.

"Of course the frikken aliens helped us!" He yelled a while after.
"Do you really think our 'oh so smart'  minds would be the only things used to create so many things?" He scooted closer to me and began to talk again.

"Look at the stars eli." He demanded.

"Um that's what I've been doing." I answered him in a very sarcastic tone.
I am the fuckling queen of sacrasm. Praise me peseants. 
"No, you frikken idiot. Look at how many there are in the sky, look at how many we can't even see because of how far away they are.   There are other galaxies that we don't even know of."  He explained to me. Man this dude is hella deep, it's so intriguing. 
I didn't have any way of responding.

" luke?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He answered back.
I thought about what I was going to say. I was scared, maybe all this was just a giant prank ...just like calum.
" why are you so nice to me?"  I finally asked.
He stared at me in disbelief.  I felt the heat rise up to my cheeks and immediately regretted asking .

"Well first of all I have no reason to be mean to you..." He started off. " and because  like ...all these galaxies we don't know of, they're just waiting to be discovered right? So to me you're a galaxy that's hidden , but I feel like your galaxy will be the most beautiful one out of any other one out there."
My heart ached. I don't know why but it did. This had made me so emotional and I couldn't take it anymore.
I cried, I let tears flow down my cheeks in front of him.
And he held me.

He held me.

"Plus ..."
I looked up at him, with my cheeks stained with tears.

"The darkest nights, have never felt so bright with you by my side."

And at that moment I knew for a fucking fact:
This is the boy who will fuck me up , but it will all be worth it.

A/N

AWH scute.
This episode is hella goals to me tbh, like I love the idea of sneaking out with someone like this and just ugh.
Man I fucking love alexis. ( luke in the story)