Secrets l.h.

Chapter 35

"I know that because you don't care that I don't care about you anymore"
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       *Warning| short chapter*

Silence fell between the both of us. Not a word left her mouth, she just stared. I rolled my eyes and pushed past her with a huff. Pathetic.

I fast walked down the road with my hands stuffed in my front pockets. I don't care where she goes as long as it's far away from me.

I reached their driveway and shuttered from the many memories at this house. Calum's eyes displayed over to me. "Where is she?" He sighed.

"I don't fucking care so go find her yourself" the words just flung out of my mouth like I had no control. My anger kept rising and I could physically and mentally feel it. I found my keys and grabbed them tightly in my hand, finding away to get rid of all of this emotion.

I squeezed harder as I slammed their front door. Key imprints formed and pressed into the layer of my skin not doing anything but making my self-control disappear like I'm some drain.

         Winters POV

He left me standing there like an idiot, he also made me feel like an idiot. I silently walked back home.

I wasn't the one who changed, he did. As soon as I reached the driveway Kians car pulled up. "Hey" he smiled while he got out. "Hi" I said walking in with him.

"What did you do to Luke" Calum spat at me. "I did nothing he's just a dick" I scoffed rolling my eyes. "Winter! Snap out of it! He changed for you in a good way unlike you" he groaned in frustration.

"Whatever" I grabbed Kians hand and led him upstairs to my room. I sat on my bed while Kian laid down.

"So what did you do to Luke?" He asked "are you serious?" I spat. "I didn't do anything, he was being his usual self and said things to me!"

"Okay! Sorry, just calm down" he sighed. He sat up and looked at me "since when did you wear so much makeup?" He questioned. I ignored his comment and placed my lips right against his, it took him a second before he actually kissed back. He pulled me closer by my waist. For some reason everything that Luke said to me started running through my head, it was like he was there yelling at me, still and I could still see the anger written all over across his face and body.

I stopped my movements causing Kian to pull away and look at me.

'I know that because you don't care that I don't care about you anymore'

'Your a Brooke 2.0'

'Your the one who changed'

'You drive everyone insane'

'You kissed Kian right after you kissed me'

Our entire fight replayed over again, even Calums yelling was heard over again.

'Going out every night and getting drunk at party's is not okay'

I pushed off the bed and looked in the mirror. Make up caked my entire face and it was visible. Just looking at myself and replaying everything that has happened I realized "he was right" I muttered.

"What?" Kian said i looked at him "I changed didn't I?" I almost whispered. His mouth opened like he was going to speak but he didn't. "You have and no one likes it... Including me, I'm guessing this has to do with Luke?" He looked as me, letting me know he was telling the truth.

Another event replayed in my head when I pored a drink on a girls head that was actually really nice and did nothing to me. I lost Jane, Nirvana, Delilah, Michael, Calum, Ashton and now Luke. Luke was right about everything, I'm worse than Brooke, my own brother can't even stand me.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kian tried to comfort me while he got up and wrapped his arms around me. I don't even like Kian like that and I'm positive he doesn't like me either. I didn't even realize but I'm actually crying, I turned in to something I've always hated.

I pushed myself away from Luke and ran to my bathroom, I scrub everything bit of make up off my face, I threw my hair up in the messiest bun I could get. I put on sweatpants and a ripped band tee. I looked in the mirror again.

This is me. I ran downstairs as fast as I could. I made my way to the living room and found Calum getting off the couch. I ran at him and tightly wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face against his chest. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything!" I cried out. "What the hell happened?" He said sounding completely shocked.

"Luke. I drove him to his old self and he snapped and said everything on his mind and everything replayed and now I realized. I'm worse than Brooke" I cried.

"Let me have time to think about everything" he sighed, he took my arms off him. I looked at Michael and he put his head down so I looked at Ashton, he didn't say anything. I nodded to myself and walked away. Kian and I both agreed on going back to way things were and he left. Luke is the one who I really really need to talk to right now.

I ran to lukes I knocked on the door once I got up to the door.

He opened the door, I looked at his eyes the weren't the usual icy blue it was like a clouded dark blue filled with pure anger. His whole body tensed and he glared as soon as he laid eyes on me. "Leave now" he demanded harshly "please just listen, I'm sorry" I said.

"I said leave" he hissed. "Luke I'm s-"
"Leave!" He yelled at me loudly causing me to get taken back by the tone of anger that filled his voice.

"I'm sorry! You made me realize that I'm worse than Brooke!" I cried. "I don't trust you anymore, I don't care either, now leave" he growled. "Ju-"
"Jesus Winter! I don't care and I'm done with your bull shit! Now fucking leave!" He yelled louder and I nodded. My teeth bite tightly down on my bottom lip, keeping my emotions and tears inside.

He slammed the door shut and next I went to Janes.

I knocked on her door and she opened it with scowl as she looked at me.

"I'm sorry" I breathed "do you honestly think you can just say sorry and everything will be all fine?" She sarcastically laughed. "No but I'm sorry I treated you like shit and I embarrassed you. Luke made me realize a lot and the guilt and regret is eating me alive" I sighed "whatever" she answered.

She shut her door and that's when the regret builded up further and broke down. This time it's nothing but my fault and somehow I have to fix it but I don't know how. I walked to a place that brought back memories and reminded me of one person I just lost.

I sat down on the grass and stared at the pond that Luke had taken me too. This has become my getaway, my safe place.

My knees curled into my chest and I just stared, breathed slowly and sat in silence until some how I fell asleep.

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A/n: shitty chapter I know but I am running out of ideas and right now I don't know what to do.