Chapter 3

1K 51 13
                                    

Katniss

I sit up abruptly, a silent scream caught in my throat. My sweaty hair sticks to my cheeks and neck and I clutch my arms tightly. I feel myself shaking and tears slip down my cheek. My nightmare is still playing fresh in my mind and I grab at my sheets to get them off me. I start looking around for my stupid plastic leg and snap it into place. I stand, slowly and wobbly, finding it a little hard to control my prosthetic with my mind so scrambled. I hobble to the door, clasping the handle with my freezing hands.

I'm conflicted about whether I should do what I'm thinking of or not. I know in my heart that what I saw wasn't real, that's he's safe, sleeping just across the hall. But my fears won't let go of me until I see for myself.

I open my door and look to make sure that none of the Capital attendants are in the car before walking across the hall and opening his door. I hear him tossing and turning restlessly before I open the door wide enough to see it. I take a step in and close the door before walking over to him. I hear him mumbling and as I get to his side, the words become clearer.

"No," he mumbles. "Let her go. Why did you chain her up? She didn't do anything! Let her go! Wait, where are you taking Ivy? No, no, no!" I kneel down beside him and shake his shoulder.

"Peeta," I say. "Wake up! It's just a nightmare. It's gonna be okay.." He just groans and I shake him harder. "Peeta! It's okay! Just snap out of it!" He shoots up in bed and I feel him gripping on my wrist, hard, as though he thinks I'm the aggressor from his dream. He looks at me and let's my arm go, a puzzled look crossing his face.

"Katniss?" He asks. "What are you doing in here?" I look down, not able to meet his eyes.

"I had a nightmare," I say, feeling like a foolish child. "I don't really know why, but I guess I had to check that this was all real and that you were still here. But from the way you were tossing around and mumbling in your sleep, it looked like you weren't fairing much better than I was. So I woke you up." I blink up at him, waiting for him to tell me to leave, but his face softens and he reaches for my hand, helping me stand.

"Well, thank you for that," he says. "It's good to know what I was seeing wasn't really happening."

"What did you dream about?" I ask. He frowns and sits up and moves over, allowing me to sit on the edge of his bed.

"It's a long story," he says.

"That's all right," I say. "You don't have to tell me. It's hard to talk about them. I haven't even told Prim about what makes me wake up screaming so often. I don't want to burden her with what happened in the games."

"You wouldn't burden me," he says, brushing my hair over my shoulder so he can see my face without it being shaded by the raven curtain. "After all, I was there too. There's nothing you can tell me I don't already know." I look over at him and touch the pale scar above his right eye and he takes my hand.

"I woke up," I say. "After you drugged me with the sleep syrup. I saw you in the puddle of blood again. But this time you weren't just unconscious. You were, you were dead, Peeta. Your heart wasn't beating." He smiles softly and gently kisses my knuckles. He then moves my hand to his chest and I feel his heart beating steady and strong beneath my fingers.

"Well, your dream seams to be mistaken because it was working just fine last I checked," he says making me laugh quietly.

"I know it's silly," I say. "But it was so real. I was so scared."

"At least yours almost happened," he says before dropping my hand. "There's absolutely no reasoning as to why I keep having the dream I had tonight."

"You can tell me you know," I say. "Like you said, we've both seen the same things."

"But it's not like my nightmares are about something that happened to us, Katniss," he says. "I don't even know why I keep getting them. But they haven't gone away. I have it almost every night."

"Just tell me, Peeta," I say. "Maybe I won't understand it, but at least you won't be sitting there alone with it anymore." He sighs and makes more room for me so I'm sitting beside him, leaning against the cherry headboard.

"Just promise you won't get freaked out," he says. "I didn't ask to have this dream. It just won't go away." I nod and he looks down. "It's always so dark. I hear you screaming and then like through some grey fog, I finally see you. You're covered in cuts and pale bruises and there's chains around your wrists and ankle. You didn't have the prosthetic and you, I think you were giving birth."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, you had a big stomach and these figures moving around you with white masks on," he says. "And even though I never saw her, I heard a baby crying. And then you started screaming for me to stop them. That they were taking our daughter." He looks so terribly upset and squeeze his hand impulsively.

"Peeta, who is Ivy?" I ask. His face goes pale and he stares at me, looking terrified to hear me say that name.

"Where did you hear that?" He asks.

"When I came in, you were calling for someone named Ivy," I say. He intertwines our fingers and I blink at him, knowing from his eyes what he can't say. "Ivy was our daughter, wasn't she?" He nods and I lay my head on his shoulder.

"It always ends with you screaming in pain and the baby crying," he says. "I always wanted children, so maybe that's why, but I can't let that happen to you. I just can't."

"Well I never wanted kids," I say. "They would never be safe. Especially if we were to have any together. You and I both know that the reapings are rigged to go after victors' children. So I guess you have nothing to worry about."

"You do know that with this star crossed lovers thing Haymitch cooked up, people are gonna expect us to have them someday," he says.

"Someday isn't now," I say. "And we've got enough to worry about without thinking about children that don't exist." I try to get up, but he stops me, still holding my hand.

"Do you want to stay in here with me tonight?" He asks.

"You want me to?" I ask him. "From what you've told me, I'm kinda the cause of your nightmares."

"Katniss, I don't know what causes them, but I know I'd feel better knowing you weren't up all night too afraid to sleep," he says.

I look at him and then at the fact that he's wearing just his boxers and I'm in a skimpy silk nightgown. With anyone else, this would be unthinkable, but we've slept next to each other with less separating us in the games. So I carefully unlock my prosthetic and slide under the covers next to him. I feel his arms wrap around me and I lay my head on his chest. My arms wrap around his, tightening his gentle embrace around me.

I fall into the first peaceful sleep I've had in months under Peeta's watchful eye.

Rising StormWhere stories live. Discover now