Rising Storm

Chapter 9

Katniss

I rush away from the party, the celebratory ball in honor of my engagement. I approach the train and feel someone grab my arm and pull me back from the steps. I turn to hit my attacker and see that it's just Peeta, with a very concerned look on his face.

"Katniss, calm down," he says. "It's just me." I just look at him. "Tell me what's wrong." I quickly turn and climb into the train. I hear his footsteps behind me as I hurry through the cars to my room. I try to slide my door shut but Peeta pushes it open. "Katniss, what the hell is going on?" I back away from him and start crying.

"We failed Pevta," I choke out. "He didn't fall for the story we played out tonight." I look at myself in the mirror and then look at my trembling hand, more importantly the giant hunk of cold, colorless, meaningless stone teasing me on my left hand. I pull it off and throw it at my reflection.

Peeta just stands in the doorway as I throw my tantrum and then walks over to me as I start to cry harder.

"Katniss, we always knew this was a long shot," he says.

"But all I wanted to do was protect the people I care about," I cry. "But that all just went away." I feel his hand on my shoulder and I lean against him.

"This is my fault," he says. "I shouldn't have let your anger drive me out. You may not have wanted me around, but you needed someone who could understand what was happening with you. If I had stayed by your side, we wouldn't have gotten ourselves stuck like this."

"We both got ourselves in this mess," I say, wiping a stray tear from my cheek. "And there's nothing else we can do to prove to Snow that we love each other." I feel him kiss my temple and then rest his chin on my head in a possessive, protective posture.

It's weird for me to let him do this. Even though I was the one to say I loved him first, I've still tried to set boundaries, to leave his embrace after a peaceful nights rest before he wakes up and except the night he found me clutching at a leg that wasn't there, I've tried to keep myself strong in his eyes. But right now, even though I know deep down he can't protect me from all the danger that seems to be looming ahead, I feel safer than I've ever felt in his arms.

"Are you scared?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says. "Probably not as scared as you are, considering you're the only one I've got to lose and you have your family." I pull away from him and look at him.

"You have a family too," I say.

"Who turned on me when I didn't share my money when I came home," he says. "They've disowned me, Katniss. In my mind, my heart, you are my only family. And I'm fine with that."

I look at him. He looks at me. And for the first time, I honestly believe that he does love me. Even when he proposed to me, asked me to spend these last few weeks in his bed. I never truly believed he felt as much as he was showing. It had felt too much like the games, like it was an act in case someone saw. But now, I know by the look in his eyes that he's meant what he's been doing.

"You really mean that don't you?" I say.

"Of course I do," he says, laying his hand on my cheek. "You're all I have left who gives a damn about me and not just what I gained from the worst thing that happened to us. You are the only thing I have left that I care about."