Thus Far... (Poetry Collection)

Hate and Love

There are days when I do not think of you.
I do not remember that once you ran your thumb over my own.
Or the sneaking glances we gave each other in your bedroom when we'd undress.
There are days when I do not remember the love.
It was unspoken, but always there.

There are days when I feel pure hatred for our situation.
60 miles between us and yet we feel 1000 miles apart.
There are days when I feel unkind and I do not love you.
Scratch that.
I don't love what we've become.

We are an endless cycle of love and hate
It is tiring.
Sometimes I ask myself if we could just stop
And look at each other and remember the way our love scared the shit out of us in the most beautiful ways.
I want, while you need... whatever it is that you need

There comes a day in every loss when you suddenly realize what you've lost
I curled up in my bed and remembered everything
How I knew you by the looks in your deep eyes
And the way we talked and connected
My hatred for this is gone.

I have this theory that hate is the product of fear.
I have this theory that letting yourself be drenched in vulnerability can wake you up.
And I've been waiting for you to wake up too.
As I lay here wondering why the fuck we allow ourselves to hate each other
When it's so fucking obvious we love each other