Public Sphere | H.S. | #Wattys2016

Chapter XXIV

Author's note: WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS EXTREMELY LONG, so be prepared. I just wanted to say that there are only six-ish more chapters to Public Sphere! AH, it's almost over, but again, there will be another book or several more in the series. I'll definitely upload a preview of it before this one finishes up. Thanks for reading, you beautiful souls.

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Harry excused himself to wash up in his bathroom. While he was prepping himself for bed, I nervously stood around his room, just looking at his things. His room was filled with things that fans had sent him throughout the years. There were drawings, photographs, and a lot of letters that were neatly kept on his bookshelf.

It was weird to look around his room. It was a part of himself that he never shared with me until now. And although we had been doing this back and forth thing of liking each other and spending copious amounts of time together, I never fully realized who he was to other people.

To the public, he was Harry Styles, the mega superstar. Whether or not he had talent was up to debate, but everyone could agree on the fact that he was famous. And with fame comes a lot of problems. Although it seemed like Harry was genuinely enjoying his private and public life these days, I wasn't sure how long that would last, especially with him prepping for his first solo album.

I frowned at the thought. Both Harry and I were so free these days. We flew across world to be with each other, and keeping in contact was no problem; however, I knew things would change if he were to go on tour. And let's be honest, touring on a new album is always a huge possibility.

I steadied myself onto the couch because I felt dizzy. I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me; I was having a panic attack because I wasn't sure what was going to happen in the next few months. It wasn't like I wasn't expecting it. I definitely understood the risks of getting involved with someone like Harry, but it was much harder to accept once it was staring me right in the face.

Our relationship wasn't even public and I was freaking out. How was I going to deal when the relationship would go public? Would we ever go public? Would we last that long?

"Jess?" Harry's hand on my shoulder shook me from my thoughts.

I looked up at him with a worried smile.

"I've been calling out for you for the last minute. What's up?" he asked sitting next to me.

He could tell that I was worried.

"If the sleep arrangement is throwing you off, you can always sleep in the guest room. I just thought it might be nice to sleep with you," he trailed off, "not like that, just sleeping."

"Whatever you want," if there was something I was good at, it was being passive and indecisive.

"If it's really what I want, then I want you to sleep with me," he gave me a small smile in hopes that I return one.

I did, I did return a smile, but it was forced; he knew it and I knew it.

"What's wrong?" he asked still overly concerned. "And be honest."

"You're probably going on tour," I said sounding like an idiot because nothing was decided and if he were to go on tour, he probably wouldn't go for months from now.

"Probably," he said nodding at first because he didn't understand where the problem was, then his eyes lit up once he located the problem. "It's not for a bit."

"I know, it's dumb," I grumbled as I hid my face in my hands.

"It's not dumb," he said as he brought my face to his. "I get why you're concerned, and I wish I had a way to make you feel better, but I'm not going to lie and tell you that it's going to be easy."