When We We're Young

When We We're Young 1109

"You said you never met one girl who has many James Taylor records like you but I do... You throw your head back laughing like a little kid" that used to be my ringtone when my dad would call.

Back when mom and dad loved eachother they would sing this with each other. That everyday they can begin again with every date they ever went they could spend it with each other again.

I never cringe at them making love, it was sweet. They never forgot to tell each other everything. There once was a day that they both were head over heels with each other but somehow it came to this. Analment and me choosing who I should go to.

It was hard at that time so the coart decided themselves. Mom was more caring, yes thats true and much more can relate to girly needs. I can still remember the face of my father when mom dragged me out of the coart, I wasn't given a chance to bid him goodbye.

Now you might ask. Why haven't I called anyone yet? Astrid took my phone saying it might be a distraction and I believed her. Yes, I do want to talk to them but I want my career to work out too. As much as how selfish it sounds, I'm glad I left them to pursue my dreams.

Sometimes, being on top just means being alone. I'd rather keep my gun in the war than give it away. Its life, we live it. We survive its problems, and its either me or them and I chose me, to be successful and live my dreams even though it broke their heart to see me leave.

Everytime they encourage me, I see a piece of them break and I break too. Thats why I listened to Astrid, afraid that I would look vulnerable infront of people.

We we're now in United Kingdom and I woke up early. I could call home right now without Astrid even knowing. I want to hear their voice even just once. And here I am now, I changed into my jeans and jacket and my hair was neatly in a bonet.  I wore my new pair of sun glasses and I held a handkerchief over my mouth. Hoping no one would come near me.

I reach the telephone, it was a small red room, Yeah, I'm not good at lables either. I dialle the familiar number of home hoping it stayed the same. "Hello?" a familiar comforting voice spoke. Suddenly, My mouth was caught up at the sound of his voice.

I broke into tears and I sob. I seem so miserable without him. He's my rock "Who's this?" he speaks up again. "Trevor?" I speak up, finding my composure again. "April?" he asks. I'm glad he still remembers my voice and a smile appears on my face.

But his voice was different. It seemed weak and distant. "Where are you?" he asks, his voice filled with surprise. "I'm in United Kingdom , in a phone house thingy" I laugh. But he was silent "Its so good to hear your voice again April. You know, I sended you some messages---" he was cut off by a series of coughs.

"Trevor? Are you alright?" but he didn't answer. He kept coughing and coughing until I heard footsteps and a gasp on the other line. The other line seems frantic, like people around we're going on a race. Until the line ended. All I could hear was a beep. The constant beeping made my ears bleed. Made my heart ache.

Tears flew down my eyes and a sob escapes my lips. I have no idea whats going on back home and I can't do anything about it. My hands shake as I try to dial again but a knock on the glass door stopped me. Girls now surround the telephone box and now I could hear their screams.

It was a good thing the telephone box had blurry glass doors or else they could see me crying. I wipe away my tears and I brought up my turtle neck up to my mouth. I would be worried about Astrid finding out but my mind can't think straight. All I could think about was Trevor.

A limo parked from afar and my guards cleared up the roads. The door opened and I was pulled by Astrid. She looked angry. I got in the limo and she let out a frustrated scream.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" she asks. But I cried. I cried infront of her. "Who did you call?" her voice was now calm, her expression softened as if she coudn't bear seeing me cry.

"Please.. Please.. Just.. Can we please go back to..Los Angeles? Please... My friend.. He.. He sent me... A letter and.. I just... I need to read it.. Please..." I sob in her arms. I realised she hugged me now, she's like my mother.

She might be mean and harsh but she did that to protect me. My career. And she actually cared. "I would. But I can't. Look, April, I know your young but you have to understand. The minute you won Epic you signed a contract. I can't make you back out now" she whispers.

Suddenly, she stares intently at me. Her eyes burning with sudden passion. "But I can make someone in Los Angeles check. She can just email the letter to you. But April, right now, whoever that friend is, I'm sure that friend woudn't want you to be like this. You need to be strong. I cant cancel the concert. Just perform and for awhile, just forget. Then before you know it, the emails there. Alright?" and all I could ever do is nod.

I continued the concert. I managed to smile, laugh and go with the beat. And for awhile I wanted to get drunk. To forget for awhile, but then again, I'll just have to go back to reality. It hurts. The truth hurts that I can't do anything but wait. Just, wait.

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Lesson learned,You need to remember that artists are humans too, that they also have private lives,so think before you hate. And we all want to forget our problems, thats what drugs and alcohol are for but you'll have to face reality again right? And it will just make everything worste. You'll even have a hangover after that. Reality will always be there and theres nothing you can do but face it. But its how you face it that matters. If you want to be happy, believe that you are.