Human - phan

Three

Thick cigarette smoke filled the air with a choking haze, stinging my eyes and making my voice rasp. The floor, sticky with spilled drink, was vibrating under me with the heavy bass from the speakers. My beer had gone so warm and flat that each sip made me want to vomit, but I persevered: determined to find the confidence from somewhere to join Gabes and his swarm of adoring girls. Normally I would have stayed clear of his bounty and gone in search of my own; but Leila Roberts perched giggling on the edge of his lap sipping from a bottle of Malibu, her sheet of long blonde hair swept over one shoulder. She was the only person who knew about my dancing and, to my knowledge, she hadn't told a soul. For that, I had fallen a little bit in love with her.

It had been well into the evening, dance classes and practices long over, and I'd taken to the studio for stress relief, only turning on one light at the very back so as not to be discovered. I was halfway through my routine before I'd noticed her. She too had retreated to the brick outbuilding with pointe shoes dangling round her neck in the hope of dancing alone, and she'd said barely ten words to me the whole encounter. I'd stopped the music hurriedly, terror apparent in my expression, and she had shook her head, turning it back on. So I'd finished the song, and turned breathless but defiant to face her.

"You dance very well." She'd said, and then she'd smiled and I'd felt like I was burning red from my toes to my ears.

"Are you done?" Her voice was like a thousand singing bells. "If not I can come back later."

"No, I'm done," I'd said, my words tumbling out on top of each other. "And thank you. I don't take dance so I don't get to do that very often."

"You should take it up. We could use a boy in our class, at least, one who dances like that."

I'd wanted to stay and watch her if only to spend more time with her and in that magical moment, but I could tell she was aching to get going and so I'd left, exchanging another smile and trying to fix how it had looked on her face in my mind forever.

In the corner of the room Leila laughed at a joke from Gabes and I realized I'd been staring. I turned away quickly taking another drink, my eyes guiltily on the floor. Suddenly, Knuckles was at my shoulder, his foul breath in my face and his eyes glazed and bloodshot.

"Who invited the freaks?" He growled.

I span around to follow the direction of his point, shying away from his heavy arm. It was Phil, again. With two other boys I didn't recognise.

"They're all boarders, but they're our year. Of course they were going to come." A small girl at my side was scowling at Knuckles. "And they're actually all really nice, hilarious, and intelligent."

Knuckles raised his eyebrows at me and I shrugged. "I don't know any of them."

Knuckles glanced over my shoulder and smirked. "Well, they sure seem to know you."

I twisted round again. Phil was pulling the other two towards me with a smile. "Hey Dan. Enjoying your drink? I highly doubt it."

I stared defensively down at my stale beer, and then to Phil's hand. I laughed. "You're drinking Malibu."

"Oh my God, I hadn't noticed." That infuriating, amused smile played across his face. "It's a hell of a lot nicer than the warm piss you're drinking."

"But Malibu's a girls' drink." I sniggered.

"And there was me thinking you might have grown up since this morning," Phil sighed, shaking his head. "I know you're intelligent Dan, I can see it deep, deep down. You just need to stop trying to fit in so much and maybe it will make an appearance."