Human - phan

Nineteen

It took a moment for her words to register in my head, another for them to sink into place.

"Do you think- do you think Phil knew?" I stammered.

The vibrant greens and blues of the leaves in the sky seemed to fade into monochrome as I fixed my eyes on hers with an intensity that was probably a little creepy.

"Is he friends with Gabes and Jake Mansford in year twelve?"

"No. No definitely not." I snorted.

"Then I doubt it," she said, "He kept it very secret. He'd never been into drugs, but his dad left them without a lot of money. He didn't have a good time in school and wanted something better for his sister, so he started running small time drugs for the local dealers. He worked his way up a couple of levels and managed to send Caitlin here off drug money." She shrugged.

"So is that why he was... you know. Because of something to do with drugs?" I said slowly.

Dani shifted uncomfortably on the bench. "It's complicated. It's probably nothing to do with your boyfriend and I really shouldn't be taking to you-"

"I think it might though," I said, trying to keep the eagerness out of my voice. "Phil met up with Jakob the day he was killed."

Her eyebrows raised and her mouth puckered into a little 'o'. "Oh. Well. Maybe. He could be the- Now wait, how do I know I can trust you? Caitlin wouldn't want me telling people this, she feels shit enough as it is."

"It's not Caitlin though, you can leave her out I just want to know about Phil-" I tried to keep my tone sombre and sympathetic, but I was struggling. Finally it was all becoming clear.

"I wish I could." She sighed. "Unfortunately, Caitlin has everything to do with this. I'm really not sure I should just be talking to you. I've no idea who you are-"

"It was cocaine, wasn't it?" I interrupted, bluffing. I couldn't lose this source.

"I- how did you know?" She said, her voice suddenly low.

"Phil told me." I murmured, crossing my fingers behind my back.

"Shit, okay... well, maybe if you know that... that's the bad bit I guess, there's not much more to tell. Okay." She took a deep breath.

I praised the heathen Gods as I shuffled closer to hear.

"Okay, so yeah Caitlin was taking coke, but she had no idea it was her brother's gang she was buying from and he had no idea she was a client. And it got so bad because she was going to parties and she wanted to be popular and grown-up and stuff so she was buying more and more. She was asking him for money for clothes and spending it on coke, essentially from him which was just so ridiculous. But like, coke is not good for anyone and it was kinda ruining her life. She started getting really angry even when she wasn't high, and she was spending everything she had on drugs and booze. Jakob loved her more than anything, he basically gave up his life for her so obviously he noticed and started getting worried, but because he'd never taken a drug in his life he didn't recognize the symptoms so one day when she was at school he raided her room and well he found the stash in her knickers draw." She was speaking so quickly I could barely make out a word, leaning in so close our heads were almost touching.

"He got mad and confronted her and ended up spilling about his dealing and so she called him a hypocrite and hit him and stuff because she was high and he kinda broke down because he blamed himself. But then he had to go to work and I don't really know much about that side of things because I've only got this from Caitlin, but there's a guy called Rod who is like on the same level as Jakob, and he was the one who'd been selling to Caitlin. So Jakob got mad at Rod for not telling him and told him to stop selling to her and so they had a fight and stuff and Jakob went home to show Caitlin all his injuries and stuff – I guess he hoped she'd be guilt tripped into stopping and it would all be happy again. Only when he got home Caitlin was waiting for him." Dani took another breath to steady herself, before sighing and brushing the hair out of her eyes.