Human - phan

Twenty

I walked like a ghost towards the main hall, barely noticing the walls or the faces that passed me. My head was spinning. What the hell just happened? I tried to calm the blur behind my eyes, thinking it through logically. Phil had seen me from the library window talking to Dani. He must have recognized her and guessed what we were talking about, he wasn't stupid he knew I was trying to find out. He'd made me promise, and I'd broken it in little less than twenty four hours. Christ. It took all my strength not to spin round and slam myself repeatedly into the wall for being such a fucking idiot.

He was going to tell me eventually, if I'd only been a little bit patient for once, if only I'd been less fucking interfering and nosy and just fucking waited...

I kept up a constant torrent of expletives under my breath as I walked, paying little attention to where I was going. What was I going to do?

*

By the time I'd calmed down enough to take in my surroundings I was in the maths corridor on the other side of college, an area I usually stayed well clear of. I took in the wall displays full of complicated formulas and strange squiggles with distaste. I rounded a corner in brooding silence and crashed straight into two younger girls in an explosion of pink. The smaller one stared terrified up at my angry face before dropping hastily to gather her fallen folders. I muttered a grudging 'sorry' under my breath and swept away, pushing the guilt down into the pit of my stomach.

All remorse vanished in an instant as I heard her whisper hurriedly to her friend – thinking I was out of earshot.

That's the guy who fucked Dani Conners for drugs!

What the actual....

I spun round on the spot, eyes wide.

Was THAT why Phil was upset? Why Chris and Peej were spitting fire? They thought I'd cheated on Phil?

My mouth was opening and closing by itself as I stood in the middle of the corridor gaping wordlessly after the two girls.

Without thinking, I broke into a sprint back up towards the dormitories, face flushed and heart pounding. My head was wild but I forced myself to slow to a stop. Calm down Dan. Think. What are you going to say? It's your word against what Phil saw. What did he see? He'd have to be half blind to think we were actually kissing, we were clearly just talking. But then, maybe he'd taken his glasses off to work. Maybe I'd been leaning in close enough, maybe someone else had told him. Those girls seemed pretty convinced... Maybe Dani had said that was what happened? No, I barely knew her but I could tell she wasn't like that. Not at all.

I wondered what people were saying to her, what shit she was getting.

And then, maybe it wasn't that at all. He'd seen Dani walk off, and I'd been at the door ten minutes later. This was probably nothing to do with it, it was the broken promise that had ripped apart the only thing I really cared about.

I huffed out a breath, tugging my fingers through my hair.

Phil obviously didn't want to talk to me right now. I would leave him alone for the rest of lunch then go make it up to him after college. I forced myself to turn back away. I'd take him to dinner or something. Come to think of it, we hadn't done anything couple-y since we first got together. It would make a nice get away from the sniggers in college and hell, everyone knew now, might as well enjoy the public freedom. I smiled slightly at the picture I was painting in my mind. Phil would love the romantic side of it, and I'd make him dress up all nice and refuse to tell him where we're going and then maybe get some roses or something and take him on the train...