Human - phan

Twenty Five

Just a quick note to say thank you to everyone who leaves a comment; i'm superaware that this is a very crappy and little known fic in the scope of this website so it means so much srsly ily all every vote makes me grin like an idiot at my screen

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When I saw Phil's face at the window I just started bawling. I pulled him in out of the night and we fell on each other like children, clutching at each other's clothes and sobbing and shaking. I'd told him I could just go downstairs and open the door but he'd said he wanted to do it properly so he'd clambered up the ivy and pressed his face against the window with an apprehensive smile, ghostly white in the half light. His eyes were red and puffy and lidded with dark shadows which just made me cry all the more.

We lay on my floor without saying anything until the sobs faded into the silence. I rolled over so I was beside Phil, staring into his eyes, completely at a loss as to what to say.

"You're an idiot, Dan." He whispered, choking back another sob.

"I know." I said, eyes filling with water again. "I'm the biggest fucking idiot in the world, I'm an arsehole, I'm a-"

"You're my idiot." Phil cut me off.

I stared at him.

"Really?" I whispered.

He nodded, his blue eyes wide and reproachful yet still glistening with moisture.

A sob turned into a hiccup and he rolled his eyes at me. I hiccupped again. A red flush rose in my cheek and the very beginnings of a smile lifted the corner of Phil's mouth.

"You're an idiot and a massive goon and I love you." He murmured.

I hiccupped, not sure I could trust myself to speak.

Phil sobbed once more, trailing his finger down my cheek.

"I know a good cure for hiccups." He whispered, leaning forwards slowly to press his lips against my own.

As I kissed him I hiccupped again – jolting forwards and hitting my forehead against his.

"Ow!" He yelped, jerking backwards and massaging his scalp.

"Oops." I said guiltily. (hic) "You might have to (hic) try a bit harder than that."

He raised his eyebrows. "I think you're pushing your luck a bit there, mister."

I lowered my face ashamedly. "I'm sorry, I know, I mean (hic) sorry yeah, you're right, I'm an idiot and I don't deserve you and-"

Phil cut me off by leaning forwards again and pinning my arms at my side, kissing me until my heart was pounding in the roof of my mouth.

He pulled away and leaned back, staring down at me with a smirk. My face was red and breathless. I bit my tongue, waiting.

All was silent except for the ticking of the clock.

"Cured!" He grinned triumphantly.

His face was soft and gentle and I couldn't take it any longer. I knocked his hands out from under him bringing him crashing down on top of me and wrapping my own arms around his back.

"I love you." I whispered into the fabric of his jumper. "I love you I love you I love you and I always have and I think I probably always will and I'm sorry I've never said it before but it's true and I love you. I really do, with all my heart and soul and everything and I'm going to take you out for dinner and buy you roses and I'm so sorry I never have before and I've never told you I love you I'm just too awkward and I could never find the words because 'I love you' never felt like enough before but I promise everything will change now. I love you. Nothing is more important to me than you and- I love you."