My Mute Mate

Ch. 21

Dove^^ Slight warning about chapter below..
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Jaxon is so cute.

That is my only thought as I shimmy myself into my jeans the next morning, or should I say afternoon. It's Saturday, so we got to sleep in. It was quite nice, and I slept pretty good. I look at myself in the mirror and eye my throat. He'd never like me. I'm damaged, so I might as well not even try.

Okay, hold up, not fair. Thats not fair to yourself. You're beautiful, and he needs to be able to see that or else he's an idiot.

Well, I don't think I'm beautiful. I might've been, before. But now all anyone can ever see is this scar. I walk into my bathroom, fully intent on covering this hideous thing up, or at least making it less noticeable. I grab some concealer and smear it all across my neck, loading tons of it onto the angry scar. I put the concealer on my face as well, and throw on some heavy mascara and eyeliner. I throw on a bright lipstick and step back. I look at myself in the mirror and start tearing up. I take the lipstick and begin writing on my mirror as the tears roll down my face, smearing my eyeliner and making me look like a mess. I finish writing 'Damaged' horizontally across the mirror and throw the lipstick at it. I turn my back and slowly sit down against the cabinet. I cry for a little while before I hear small footsteps. I look up to see Sym. She has blood is dripping from her concealed wrists, which are covered by her leather jacket, and her eyes are red. We look at eachother for a minute before Sym looks at the mirror and smiles a bit.

"I know the feeling." She whispers before I stand up and hug her. I cry on her shoulders for a few seconds before moving away. I see a single tear drip from her eyelash, creating a line in between her freckles. I grab her hand and lead her to the sink. She shrugs off the jacket and I see Calum written on both wrists. What could he have done now?! They were so happy. We clean her up and sit on the counter. I wrap bandages around her wrists, both of us staying silent. I realize now that for as much trouble as we all give her, Sym doesn't really talk all that much. We constantly joke about how she never shuts up, but really, she has so much to hide, that she covers it up with stories. Sym starts humming something awkwardly and I look up at her. She's staring at the mirror.

"Silence is scary." She murmurs before humming a bit louder. And that's another thing that she wants to hide. I get flashbacks to when I was ten or eleven, and I loved Pink. Silence scares me 'cause its full of the truth. I sit and think about this, when I realize that's what Syms humming. That's cool, and kinda creepy, that we're thinking about the same song. I put up my mental wall last night so nobody could hear my thoughts at the game. I finish with her wrists and just sit there, looking at her.

"Calum left on tour with One Direction. 5sos made it big. I know I should be happy for them, I mean, I don't like the directioners, but they're 1D for Gods sake! I'm just gonna really miss him." She admits, looking at and playing with her bandages. I grab her hands in comfort.

"He'll be back before you know it." I mindlink her and she nods slightly.

"So why are you having a mental breakdown?" She asks me curiously, looking in my eyes like she's trying to read my problem. I sigh mentally and let down my wall to her. All my thoughts are sent to her and she just looks at me wide eyed.

"Girl, you're crazy. Jaxon's seen you as a Goddess since we were like, five. He so likes you. He wont shut up about you, and from the looks of it, if you could talk, you'd talk about him a lot too." She points all this and my face turns into a tomato. I nod a little and she suddenly throws on her jacket.

"Come with me." She orders and I stand up curiously. I follow her quick pace out to her car and get in. We drive to the highschool and Sym texts someone before getting out, me following suit. I follow her into the school. We get to a random locker. For it being the weekend, there's quite a few kids here. Well, most of them are just kids cleaning their locker, but some are just milling about. Some are smoking. Sym turns to a group of smoking boys.

"Yo, can one of you boys help me open my locker?" Sym asks sweetly, but also demandingly. The boys grin at eachother and playfully shove the middle one forward.

"And, Princess, what am I gonna get for that?" He suggests and Sym laughs lightly.

"Well, open the locker and I'll get you what you want." She agrees and he raises an eyebrow.

"And that is what...?" He questions expectingly. Sym flutters her eyelashes.

"It's what all three of you boys want. Now, princess, open the locker. You know I don't have time for this Harrison." Sym orders bitterly and he smirks, flicks his cigarette, and pulls out a knife. He puts it in the side and smiles sarcastically as there's a little click and the locker pops open. Sym grabs a few things before slamming the locker shut. She goes to walk away quickly but the boy traps her against the locker, staying about an arms length away. He leans into her ear.

"I believe we had a deal princess." He whispers in her ear.

"Come this way." She laughs back. He makes a hand motion towards his boys and we all make our way down the hall. I really did not expect this out of Sym. She really does love Calum, you can see it, so why would she make a deal like this. We go out into the parking lot to Syms car. Me and her hop in while the boys admire the car.

"Would ya'll hurry up? I wanna leave." Sym commands and the start taking pictures with her car. Oh, okay. I should have had more faith in her. Sym puts the car in reverse and waits for the Harrison guy to lean against the hood of the car before pulling away. He falls to the ground.

"Hey!" He yells as Sym peels out. She just gives them a three fingered salute as a 'bye'. Meanwhile, I can't breathe I'm 'laughing' so hard in the passenger seat. I sit back up from my position when I calm down.

"So my dear friend, do you know why we went through Jaxon's locker?" She smirks at me. That was Jaxons? I shake my head and she hands me a sketchbook from her lap with a wide grin. It's titled 'the many faces'. I open up the first page and see a mediocore drawing of a little girl watching a boy hang from a tree. Not very detailed, but skilled nonetheless. I turn the page again, and it's a better drawing. The shading is impeccable. It's a hand reaching out to a scene in front of him. It's a girl, laying on the ground, people with shaded faces standing above her. She's not crying, but she's holding her head in pain. I furrow my eyebrows as I flip through the pages, each better than the last. The girl cooking, running, smiling, crying, singing. Then one page has the girl. Her face is angry, facing towards the page for once. Her throat has scratchmarks on it. Her eyes hold hate. The next page is her walking away into the woods. The next page has her in a gorgeous dress, on stage. Then her and the page dancing, then the last picture is her waving from the stands at a football game. I'm shocked thoroughly at this. I shouldn't have looked at this, this isn't mine.

But it's of you.

It's still not mine.

"Told you." Sym singsongs from the drivers side. I just realized we're at the old packhouse. My hands start shaking at the thought of going inside. My heart starts pounding and my head hurts. I see Jaxon walk out of the house, only this time I notice how he studies me. He hops in the back.

"Okay, so you have to promise not to kill or hate me." Sym says and Jaxon furrows his eyebrows.

"I promise..?" Sym starts the car and a held breath is released onto the world. Sym grabs the notebook and throws it into the backseat. I look at my hands sheepishly, ashamed that I was a part of this.

"And she..?"

"Yep."

"All of it?"

"Yeah."

"Uh, Dove? What'd you think?" Jaxon asks, I turn towards him just to see him red as a tomato and staring out the window. He sees that I turned around and our eyes meet. I give him a quick thumbs up before turning forward in my seat.

"Jesus you two are too cute." Sym laughs as she pulls up to the house. I rush inside and flop on my bed. Which is empty, for once. I smile like mad into my pillow.