Love is Complicated

Should I?

"You haven't talked to me for over two months!" Ella squeals over the phone, her voice hinting anger. "The last time you talked to me was before your ultrasound! You're ignoring me, arn't you?" Even though she was on the phone, I could picture her eyes narrowing and a sneer forming on her lips. I can't deny it, I have been doing that exact thing. Imagine telling your best friend that your child was an unhealthy baby girl, and there was a chance her delivery will kill you....

"Caleb!" I groan, shuffling out of our bedroom. I felt heavier, but maybe that's because I've gained another twenty pounds...
"Isabelle?" I hear him get off the couch. Out of habit, I place my hand on my belly bump and the other on the wall as I slowly make my way to him. My feet shuffle, not wanting to fall on my face and start crying out of fear, since I lived that exact fate yesterday. Caleb rushes to my side, taking my hand and helping me move to the couch at a faster pace.
"They all need to know." I let out a sigh, my feet starting to throb; Caleb noticing as he sides off my house slippers.
"Who needs to know what?" He lets out a muted laugh, obviously confused on what I'm talking about.
"Our families; and friends too. They need to know about-" I pat my belly as he starts to gently message.
"Are you sure you wanna do that?" He questions not looking up at me." I stay silent until he looks up at my face. "Just from experience, they might not take it well."
"I know, but they deserve to know," he stops and I don't worry about motioning for him to continue. "I'm being serious." He quickly joins me, sitting beside me on the couch. I keep my head lowered as he grips my hands in his.
"I love you, and I will do anything for you, but this will break their hearts."
"But they need to know." I whisper.
"Then we'll tell them." He lifts my chin with his finger, a broken smile plastered on his lips.

***

I toss and turn, feeling the nightmare creep under my skin. I finally wake up, feeling the sweat on the back of my neck and my body trembling. I slowly get out of bed, waddling to the bathroom. When I reach the sink, I let the water turn ice cold. I cup my hands, ready to splash the liquid onto my face. I turn it off, looking up into the mirror. Tomorrow. I tell them tomorrow.
What are you doing? Trying to rip their hearts right out of their chests?
Tears form in my eyes, and I suddenly hear Caleb moving around. I look out into our barely lit bedroom, seeing as he mumbles into the air and moves around. It seems normal until he starts crying out for me. Me?
"Caleb!" I rush to his side, sitting on my legs near the side of our bed. "I'm right here!" He doesn't wake up. He doesn't even hear me. "Caleb open your eyes! I'm right here next to you!" As he cries out my name again, I feel the tears stream my face. "Caleb!" My voice gives out and I take his hand in mine. "Please baby, I'm right here." Almost on cue, his eyes open. He doesn't say a word as he sits up, my movements slowly behind him.
"Isabelle, I-"
"Is that why you haven't been sleeping?" I drag my eyes to his.
"Everytime I do, I see the worst outcome." He runs his free hand through his hair.
"If you can't take this... How will they? I'm just going to put a hole in their lives, just as I have put one in ours." My voice cracks and more tears fall onto my cheeks.
"Isabelle," he gently wipes away my little runaway tears, "there's a possibility I'm going to lose the woman I love, along with my child. It would be very weird if I wasn't taking this hard." I nod, trying to keep it in. "I love you, and nothing will change that. I will do whatever you want me to do, whether it involves telling our families this hard news, or running to McDonald's to get you some fries at three in the morning." He smiles, and as do I. I can always count on Caleb to make me smile during the hard times. I eventually crawl back in bed and he holds me, until we both fall back to sleep in each others arms.

***

"Caleb! We're going to be late!" I yell, getting frustrated.
"I'm coming woman!" He laughs as he comes out from the bathroom. We both walk towards the front room, him grabbing the keys, and I shutting out the lights. Caleb stands by the door, looking at me as if I were chocolate. I start towards him, grabbing my purse on the couch as I pass by.
"What?"
"You just look gorgeous." He smiles and I smile back before hitting his chest playfully. Almost as a reflect, I double over. Caleb freaks, not knowing what's wrong. I now notice I screamed a little. Not of pain, but of surprise... As I gather my breath feeling the little movements against the inside of my stomach, I stare at the ground amazed by the unusual feeling.
"Isabelle?" Calebs voice brings me back. I look up at him, a smile on my lips. I take his hand, placing it on my bubbled stomach. As his face changes from confusion to admiration, we both stand there amazed by our little kicker.

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Thank you for reading!

Sorry, it's been wayyyyy too long 😩
I'll try to write faster =)

- Emuna_Jasmine