Love is Complicated

Epilogue/In Honor of Isabelle

"You two are like a baby machine!" I tease Katie and Jackson. Katie has on a baby wrap, holding her newborn tightly around her body. Her little two year old was clinging onto daddy's hip, but Michelle and Aaron are out playing in the lake.
"Uncle Caleb, look at what I can do!" Michelle yells before performing a cannon ball into the water.
"I can do better!" Aaron hollars, doing a backflip into the lake.
"I cannot believe that boy is only nine, and I'm so proud he got control of that stutter." I cause Katie to smile, "And Michelle... She's seven! Time flies right by." I pull my beer bottle to my lips. Ella comes over and sits next to me at the picnic table.
"My little Alex is only three."
"Almost four." I lift my bottle to hers and the clink makes us laugh.
"Well, I think there's one little girl we haven't mentioned." Justin adds in, setting Alex onto the ground, taking off for the swings.
"I still remember those desperate phone calls at three in the morning, because Rayne couldn't sleep." Ella teases.
"Glad that parts over." I laugh nervously, remembering that my singing, or talking about her mother, is what calmed my little girl down.
"Just wait fellas, one day it's really gonna happen." Katie shares a glance with Ella.
"So glad you supplied me with a son." Justin pops his beer bottle open and chugs.
"What if we eventually had a girl?" Ella beats around the bush, picking at the table, not meeting Justin's eyes.
"Wait what? Do you mean-"
"Daddy daddy!" I hear my little angels voice, and everyone shuts up.
"What hunny? Did you find one?" I look expectantly at her.
"Yep!" Rayne opens her clamped hands and shows us all the butterfly.
"Beautiful Rayne. Just magnificent!" Ella smiles, trying to ignore Justin's confused glances; but that doesn't stop Rayne from glowing even more.
"Daddy said it's mommy's favorite!" She watches as it fly's away.
"Well, you found mommy's favorite on your birthday! How special is that?" I watch her smile get bigger.
"What's it like, being five?" Justin sits down on the opposite side of the table, obviously trying to get his mind of the last subject, all our attention on her. She shows her nerves, like her mother.
"I can use my whole hand to tell you how old I am now!" We all laugh as she comes and sits on my lap.
"Oh, I wish I could still do that." Jackson sighs.
"I'd be happy to just use both." Justin adds, motioning with his hands.
"You guys must be really old to have to use both hands." Rayne giggles.
"Okay my baby girl, how 'bout we go see mommy now?" I set her down and stand up.
"I've been waiting on you to say that!" She runs to say goodbye to her cousins, as I grab my keys off the grill a few feet away.
"Hey, Caleb-" I hear Ella follow behind me.
"We'll be right back-"
"No, I wanna see how you're doing...." I smile, thankful for her concern.
"Pretty good considering the circumstances... But it's hard. I mean, she shares a birthday with the day we lost her."
"I know." She sighs, "It can't be easy...."
"Trust me, it's not." I look back at Rayne, playing with the other kids, "But she makes it easier. Eveytime I look at her, I see her mother."
"I know how you feel." Ella tears up and I hug her.
"Go," she pulls away after a few seconds and pushes me towards the group.
"Rayne, you ready?" I pick her up, placing her on my back.
"Off to mommy!" She giggles, waving at everyone.
"Yep, off to mommy." I repeat, quieter.

***

"Daddy, is this your favorite day out of the whole year?" Rayne giggles, sitting in her booster seat in the back. I keep looking back at her through the review mirror, between keeping my eyes on the road.
"Of course! It's my peanuts birthday! What other day is there to celebrate more than today?" I make her smile.
"But we also get to see mommy." Her innocent comment makes my throat swell. Before long we reach the grave yard and Rayne was already bouncing out of her seat. Once I helped her out of the car, she grabbed the roses we bought and we walked hand in hand over to Isabelle's grave. I chose to lay her next to my brother, but her stone was definitely more noticeable. Unlike all the normal pretty, shiny headstones, I thought Isabelle would want hers to be special. So, I decided to make her headstone in the form of a book. On one side of the "page" is her, but the other, will be me. There was a little something I threw in, trying to summon up what was best to engrave onto the stone, and it was hard, but I did it eventually.
Loved daughter, beloved friend, cherished sister, missed mother, and most of all, an indescribable wife. I hope to see you someday Isabelle, and until then, in my dreams. In sickness and in health, until death do us part. - Caleb
"Daddy, why is this side blank?" Rayne touches the empty side.
"That's where I'll be when my time comes."
"You seem like you miss her a lot, why don't you join her now? Mommy would love to have a play date with you." Her statement doesn't take me by surprise, she's only five and doesn't know the meaning of death.
"You see, I would love to have a play date with mommy, but I can't. At least not yet. She made me promise to complete a job, and if I left without doing her wishes, I'd be begging to come back." I joke, making her smile.
"What kind of job?"
"Well, peanut, I have to take care of you." I poke her nose gently.
"Mommy made you promise to wait on me?" She murmurs before hugging me. I'm taken by surprise, almost knocking me onto the ground. "I can't wait to be a mommy like my mommy." She whispers.
"I can't wait to see you become a mommy like mommy." I smile, and she pulls away. Rayne places the roses into the flower holders, and I watch as she does so. Her little mind goes elsewhere when the elderly couple a few rows over says hello. They have been here since my brother was buried and we've talked a little; a lot more that Isabelle's gone.
"Daddy, can I please go talk to Mrs. Harper?" Rayne tugs on my shirt. I look up at the couple and Mrs. Harper locks eyes with mine. I guess I needed more time alone with my buried wife than I thought.
"Of course, just be poliet." I warn her before she runs over and hugs the lovely couple. Mrs. Harper waves and nods, as if knowing what I've been needing. I look back over to her stone, before sitting down on the grass.
"For the longest time I sat out here after you passed. I felt as if you could hear me and answer every question I had. I'm a father who has no idea on how to be a father. I mean, yes, you read parent magazines out loud while you were pregnant, but I never listened; sorry." I sigh, "I had no idea how to even maneuver a diaper, and that smell is horrid. I'm in a world of trouble when she gets older. Periods, boys, bras, clothes... I'm in over my head! She's five, five Isabelle! It seems just yesterday I lost you...." I hold onto my homemade necklace that Rayne made me at school on her first day. It has a coin size metal piece that says, "Best Daddy" in Rayne's hand writing. After I received it as a gift, I slid on my promise ring that I have always had around my neck that matches Isabelle's, and her engagement ring that I proposed with. I kept her band and promise ring on her fingers, even though everyone told me not to. I hold onto my necklace, remembering my wife. Her smile, her touch. The way she stuck her tongue out when she was concentrating. The way her eyes narrowed at me when I called her pregnant belly 'fat'. The first time we met. The last time we met....
"I love you Isabelle, and that will never be a lie." I stand, and place my fingers over her engraved name. I look up to check on Rayne, making sure she wasn't disturbing the nice couple. When I saw them all laughing, I smiled. Before long Mrs. Harper looked over again and sent Rayne back to me.
"Daddy, they are so nice!" She bubbles up. "Did you have a nice conversation with mommy?"
"Of course. She's a really good listener." I wink at her.
"Daddy, can we go back to the party. I don't want to miss the cake!"
"Of course, if the birthday girl wishes, it comes true." We start off to the car, but she stops midway.
"I forgot!" She runs back to the stone and murmurs something, then she kisses the cement block. The breath is knocked out of me, making me stagger. She gallops to me, taking my hand.
"I had to say goodbye to mommy." She casually states and I nod. "You ready to go?"
"Lets go." I smile, feeling my heart fill with warmth.
I may miss Isabelle, and she may not have gotten the chance to become the mother she always wanted to be, but she will always be in our lives; I'm going to make sure of that.
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Thank you for reading!

Last of it.... The end! Don don doooooon! ^-^
Hope you guys liked it! I will post another chapter if I plan on writing another sequel ✌ but until then... Byye y'all!

- Emuna_Jasmine