Kiss It Better

Chapter One

Chapter 1

Click, click.

Louis did his best to act annoyed at the hired paparazzi. He took Eleanor's hand and dragged her in the opposite directions of the cameras.

Once they were safely inside the restaurant, he dropped her hand.

Lou let out a long sigh and collapsed into his arms on the table.

He felt a soft hand on his arm. "I'm really sorry you guys have to do this."

Louis did his best not to move his arm.

It's not like he dislikes Eleanor. In fact, he thinks if they weren't in the situation they were in, he would like to be friends with her. He and Harry both know its not her fault. It's her job. But, it's still hard not to resent her for it.

"I know. But.. It's only for a couple of more months, right?" He asked, subtly, (or at least he hoped) pulling his arm from her hand.

"Right." She assured him, smiling slightly and looking at the menu.

Louis had to fight to keep the grin off his face when his phone buzzed.

Babe?

Hi sweetheart

How's the date?

Horrible. I miss u. ):

Aw, baby I miss u to. You'll be home soon.

Not soon enough.

"You guys honestly can't be apart for two hours without texting him?" Eleanor said in a teasing way, but he could tell there was some underlying frustration in her voice.

"Sorry." lie.

******************************************************

Louis gasped through swollen lips as Harry pressed hot, searing kisses down his jaw and neck, sucking gently.

He ran his fingers through Harry's curls and tugged on them lightly, relishing in the soft moan that he let out.

For the next few minutes there was nothing but the sound of their lips moving together and soft sighs. Everything was going fine, more the fine actually, before Harry started trying to unbutton Lou's shirt.

He froze, shrinking away and began muttering incoherent excuses and apologies. Harry shushed him and kissed his temple and did the one button he managed to get undone up.

Any normal guy would naturally be a little frustrated that after nearly three years of being together, he still hasn't been able to see his boyfriend shirtless, but not Harry.

Harry, who is still so perfect and sweet. He wouldn't want Louis to do anything that's uncomfortable to him.

It's not that Louis doesn't trust Harry, it's himself that he doesn't trust. He knows that once Harry sees how awful, ugly and fat he is he won't be able to stand to be in the same room with him, let alone love him. No, he's not going to risk that.

"Haz... I'm so-"

"Shh, lovely. It's fine."

"I-it's not-"

Harry kissed his lips, shushing him, "It's fine Lou. Promise. Now, lets get to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."

Louis closed his eyes and pretended to sleep while he listened to Harry's breaths even out.

He slipped quietly out of Harry's arms and into the bathroom.

He wasn't able to purge after dinner because of all the meetings and he could already feel the weight coming on from the salad.

Louis glared at his reflection as the voice inside his head screamed ugly, disgusting, Harry would be disgusted if he saw you. He clutched the fat on his stomach and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from escaping.

With a shaky breath he got his razors from the hiding spot in their closet and sliced his skin two, three, four times.

Stupid, fat, worthless, you're worthless.