Well I have gone and done it again.
I fucked up something amazing.
I'm sure I'll get through it.
I just don't want to get through it and be alone in the end again.
I wouldn't be able to cope with that.
I notice this darkness I'm sitting in.
All too familiar.
The sounds of music I haven't heard in a long while.
The sounds of the only thing I had at one point.
Then I found the light at the end of my darkness.
I thought the light would last longer than this.
Sure life has ups and downs.
But do you not understand that a rollercoaster gets boring if it only goes down.
You need the ups to make the rollercoaster fun.
Am I right?
I'm just tired of being strong.
I wish you understood.
I love you.
I really do.
But I can only handle so much anymore.
I don't want to lose you.
You should know that.
Maybe I was just meant to deal and cope with everything on my own.
I've waited to long for this chance.
You as well, only longer.
So why let it go to waste?
I don't plan on letting it go to waste.
That is not an option.
Do you understand?
I do not like the darkness.
I found the light for once.
When I found the light I became much more fond of it.
I like it better than just coping with the darkness.
Just understand I care.
But I can't handle going down on a rollercoaster all the time.
You're the last thing I have.
Please don't make me let go and re-learn how to deal with this pain all over again.
