I can honestly own up to the fact that I am officially a mess. I have reached my breaking point. I don't even know right from wrong. Well I mean I do but I wouldn't know which one to go with.. I guess? My mind is just a bunch of scribbles trying to figure this shit out. I know I'm over you, but I'm being a bitch to you and others for reasons I can't even explain. I guess it's just me coming to realize that some people really do find me worthless. Even though it's some family that points out all my flaws just about everyday as though I don't notice them. People just don't realize it I guess. I swear they think I'm lying half of the time. But I promise you I'm not. It's just my screams for help that your not noticing. it doesn't hurt me all that much for you to find me worthless. I guess you kind off have a reason, I really didn't intend on it to happen but it did. Honestly, what got me most was being told I'm nothing special and that my attitude is shit to everyone by the person I look up to most just completely broke me. It really did take me to my breaking point. So I guess I'm living up to what he thinks I am. My attitude is now worse. I don't care about anyone accept 3-4 people. I now fully believe I'm nothing. It's amazing how I went from looking up to you and thinking that I was your little girl to being just here I guess. I wish you realized that your words mean everything to me. After all you are my father figure. But I guess that all went away. I just don't even know anymore. I'm so lost and now feel like I'll never mean anything to anyone. People tell me not to say that because I do mean something, but it's so hard to believe it when I'm constantly broken down. But my true feelings will be left here and only here. I cannot show sadness. People just don't get it. Some do, one did. But I can no longer go to that person.. at least I think I can't.
