Kōusei X Tsubaki OneShots

Cliche, don't you think?

Everyday I end up looking out the window of my room which is righ across from Kōusei's piano room. Weird coincidence, right? But every time I look out that window all I see is a broken down Kōusei. Hunched over, crying above the piano that he used to play with joy, determination, and most of all, love.
Sadly that love was always aimed toward someone else. Someone who I had introduced to Kōusei as Friend A, but that had been my biggest mistake. She had stolen Kōusei's heart and then crushed it when she had left this world.
   Kaori was basically everything to him. She was always the sun on his rainy days and would always cause his eyes to shine and fill with color, but whenever she was gone and with me. His eyes just seemed to lose color and wander off to somewhere else. His attention had always been on Kaori. He was to oblivious to realize my feelings.
And you'd think I'd be happy that Kaori's out of the picture, but that's not the case. My heart just begins to fill with guilt and sorrow every time I see Kōusei through my window. He's never smiling. He tries to play the piano, but he ends up the same way he ended up when his mother had died.
Even though he puts on a smile during school like Kaori's death had never affected him. I can see right through it. He's always been a horrible lier.
But I just don't get it. Why her? Just... Why? Is it because she's prettier then me? Because she's smarter? Happier? Kinder? I don't get it?!
I have tried so hard since childhood to show my feelings, but he just won't look at me that way. I tried so hard, but all it took for Kaori was a day. What does she have that I don't? I know I'm not that pretty or smart, but I knew Kōusei inside and out. We were inseparable.
So what happened? Was it the music? Was it Kaori? Was it me?
I know I might have called him kid brother all the time, but I never meant it. I always wanted us to be, something more, something more then just friends. Like, boyfriend and girlfriend. I have been by his side the entire time. We grew up practically next to each other and know each other inside out. And will understand the others emotions or feelings, but I guess Kōusei doesn't know me that well. Why doesn't he? We've been friends for the longest time, but I guess that's the problem. We've been friends for to long.
I had always thought it was the music pushing us apart or his mother, but it had been me. Being to big of a wuss to actually confess to him.
Sadly it's to late now. He has already fallen in love even though she's gone he won't get over her. Ever. She was to important to him. I thought I'd get closer to Kōusei, but we just grew farther and farther apart by Kaori leaving.
Why was I so selfish?
I wish I could bring Kaori back. I don't care of Kōusei's in love with her and he'd rather choose her over me. I just want to see him smile again. Not the fake ones he has at school, but an actual genuine smile. And I want his eyes to sparkle. To show color. I want his eyes to light up with color instead of looking like he's at the bottom of the deep sea.
All I ever wanted was for Kōusei to look at me as more then just a big sister or a friend, but not all fairy tales have their happy endings.
What can I do to help him? Can I help him? Why am I getting worked up about this?
Ugh, look what you have done to me Arima Kōusei. You got me head over heels for you, and I can't even get you out of my head.
Geez, I have gone soft. The gorilla of the class room with no "heart" has fallen head over heels a guy that is in love with two things beside me. Music and a girl who's dead.
Cliche, don't you think?
If only I could be the one who brought color back into his world. If only I was the one he fell for, but fate isn't to keen on letting people have their happy endings that easily.
But if anyone deserves a happy ending, it's been Kōusei. He had been through so much shit. Whenever a light comes into his dark world it always fades away and leaves him broken. He's like a broken record playing over and over again till it's broken for good and can't play any more.
How did I end up like this? Why can't I get over you? I don't like you... I love you, but... why you? I wish life was less complicated and more simple, but fates a bitch, isn't it?