BUM-ASS

Ill suck a dick for you

"Holy fucking balls dude!!!!"

That's what came out of my mouth as Puss came over at my house carrying four fucking box of bomb ass chicken fucking wings dude. Four fucking box dude. Do you know how many wings is that? A shitload of wings. There's enough wings for me to eat for about a week. If I portion it right. Like dude my balls can't even handle this shit. This boy just brought four fucking box of chicken wings man!!! Each box contains at least 15 pieces of wings. And let me tell you right now, this ain't just the ordinary basic type chicken wings that you get from walmart or something  shitty that your overweight fat obese lumpy crusty mom did because she has no time to cook because she's busy watching her favorite tv show 12&Pregnant, so she just pop a shitty chicken wing in the microwave and let it cook for like 5 minutes because she doesn't love you enough to even make a decent meal for you, NO, this chicken wings are like specially cooked with love and expensive shit and some flavors you didn't even knew existed. So yea good for me. I think I just came from just thinking about eating it.

Then 2 minutes later Dum came with a fucking sack of potatoes. And a canned soup.

So I decided it would be a good idea to turn that shitty sack of potatoes that Dum brought and that shitty can of soup into something beautiful. To be honest I have no idea what the fuck Im gunna do. But then a lightbulb moment came. Fucking lit dude. What if I mix them together? And make some kind of potato soup or some sort. I mean it's pretty chilly so it'll be perfect. OH MY GUACAMOLE AND SHIT I am  a fucking culinary genius bitch. Albert Fuckingstein you dipshit. I just pulled an Albert. Great moves bum, proud of you! I bet he'd say that to me. And also suck my dick. Cuz you know I'm genius. I mean I'm not gay. He is. Because he would suck my dick. I won't. I mean I masturbate to naked girls. Don't you? Then you're gay. Anyways, I'm making potato soup. If you want to cook it here's my very own recipe and instructions. Top Secret bitch. You should feel special. Here we go:

*****************************************************************************************************

Potato Soup

Description: Whore mouth

You will need:

-Sack of potatoes

-Can of soup

-Shitty life

-*Bleach (Optional)   Note:This is only for people who wants to kill themselves. For the sake of this recipe I am not putting it in my food.

Instructions:

-Wash the dirty ass potatoes. For my recipe I am using 4 pieces of dirty ass potatoes.

-Make sure you use some soap on that bitch. We don't want any worms or parasite living inside you.

-Scrub that shit till it's squeaky clean.

-Don't peel the shitty potatoes. It's already shit, why waste your time peeling it.

-Cut the potatoes on whatever desirable shape you want it to be. I wanted to cut my potatoes into pussy shape because I love pussy but it's too complicated, just like how girls are, so I went with the regular cubes. Be creative!

-Cut yourself because you have a shitty life.

-Open the can of soup

-Boil about 3 cups of water. If that's not enough then put 4. If that's not enough put 5. If that's not enough then just quit cooking and move on to doing better things to make your parents proud.