Lust or Love?

Chapter 4

I pulled away from the kiss quicker than he expected, and he was left staring at me with those quizzical eyes, searching for an answer. "I-I," I struggled to find the words to say. What was I even trying to say? Beau had kissed me. What's wrong with that? Everything's wrong with that. I had feelings for him. Feelings that weren't reciprocated. He can't just kiss me whenever he pleases. It may be all fun and games for him, but it's meaningful to me. I can't let him toy with my emotions like that. "Beau, let's get one thing straight. What happened last night--" I began again. "I'm not someone you can just kiss and hookup with as you please. It may be meaningless to you, but to me there's significance that comes with stuff like that. I'm not gonna sit here and allow myself to be hurt when you've gotten enough from me and want to move on. I'm sorry--I--I can't do this right now..." I shrugged out of his grip on my waist and made my way to his room, allowing him no time for a response.

After grabbing my phone from his dresser, I turned around to exit his room but was blocked by his body in the doorway. I stood in front of him, staring at the ground and waiting for him to move aside. "Evelyn, you can't just leave me after all that. You didn't even give me a chance to explain my feelings at all." I continued looking at the floor with my head down. He took in a deep breath. "Evelyn," he started again, "you are different than any other girl I've ever come across. There's something about you--" he lifted my chin with a finger and stared deeply into my eyes. "I can't figure you out. But there's something that draws me in about you, and I absolutely adore it. You intrigue me. I want to get to know you Evelyn. Give me a chance," he begged, "I know you won't regret it."

I looked into his eyes. I mean really, really looked. I've never known Beau to be the type to genuinely care about a girl like he said he did about me, and it scared me to think he could be lying. I scanned his face, curious if this was all just a facade. His eyes appeared honest, though, and against my better judgement, I nodded. "Okay," I agreed.

His face lit up with joy. His smile was sincere. "Well," he took my hand into his, "Evelyn Carrigan, will you be my girlfriend?" He looked slightly nervous, as if he was afraid of what I might answer.

"Yes," I kissed his cheek and embraced him in a warm hug.

-

The rest of the morning carried on quite pleasantly; we sat and ate pancakes and tried getting to know each other. It was crazy how much we had in common. Maybe we would workout well after all. I breathed in a sigh of relief while Beau went to the kitchen to make popcorn. We were starting a Twilight marathon. Not because we enjoyed the movies--because by no means did we--but to laugh and make fun of it.

I was curious where the rest of his family was. Gina was out of town for a week, visiting with a friend of hers. But as for Luke and Jai, they never came home last night and never bothered to stop by all day. I checked my phone for the first time since yesterday and began opening the 7 text messages that accompanied my 3 missed calls.

-

From Caroline:
Hey girl where'd you go?

What happened? Last I saw was you and Beau walking out...?

I'm leaving Caleb's party... I trust that you're being safe wherever you are... Probably with Beau.. ;)

Okay I expected at least a text by now Evelyn. It's 11 am what happened to you?

Text me back ASAP I'm starting to get worried!

From Luke:
Hope you had fun last night... ;)

From Mum:
Hey sweetie I might be gone a little longer than I initially thought--our conference seems to be dragging on longer than expected.... I think by next week or so I should be boarding a plane back home. :) I didn't hear from you last night... Stay safe, okay? Text me when you can. I love you x

2 missed calls from Caroline, 1 from Mum

No voicemails, surprisingly.

To Caroline:
I'm so sorry! I was a bit distracted last night and forgot to check my phone. I'm at Beau's--we're watching movies right now. I have loads to tell you later tonight! Love you girl x

To Luke:
What do you know...? O.o

-

Beau came back in with a bowl full of popcorn and a glass of what I assumed was wine. I raised my eyebrows at him, glancing at the drink in his hand and then back at his eyes.

"I was thirsty," he chuckled. "Should I have poured you a glass too?"

I giggled. "I'm laughing at the fact that you pair a glass of wine with buttery popcorn. It doesn't sound like an appetizing match to be quite honest."

He took a sip of his wine and then grabbed a handful of the popcorn. "Tastes fine if you ask me," he laughed and continued eating.

"So," I decided to change the subject, "Luke sent me an interesting text..." His relaxed expression hardened, his eyes widening.

"He only knows that we left last night together. I didn't blab to him if that's what you're accusing me of," he sounded frustrated.

"I'm not 'accusing you' of anything," I shot him an annoyed look. "I just want to make sure you're not parading around telling everybody how hammered I was last night and what we did together."

"First of all, I didn't say a word to him," he began as his expression softened. "Whatever he texted you was merely on his own accord. I didn't prompt anything. Secondly, I know better than to publicly expose our bedroom affairs, Evelyn. It's insulting you think I'm such a child about that."

"I didn't say you were a child, I just know your reputation. Perhaps I wouldn't if you'd done a better job of not exposing your past to everybody."

He flinched when I mentioned his reputation. "I'm not like that anymore."

"I believe you, but people's opinions don't change over night, Beau. It's gonna take time," I gave him a promising smile; I did believe he had changed, and I liked the thought of the new him.