Fine, I'll leave (Phanfiction)

Fine, i'll leave

<< Phil's POV >>

My legs shuffled under the blanket as my fingers grazed over the warm keys on the computer. The heat emitting from the computer caused an uncomfortable burning through the fabric of the black and grey covers. The sun peered through the curtains in the room causing streaks of light to paint stripes on the walls. The humming of the laptop soothed the silence in the room, occasionally changing tone as the blanket moved under my arms causing the sound to become more muffled.

Mumbles and uncomfortable groans emerged from the silence causing me to shoot my head straight to my right. Dan lay asleep with his head resting on my upper arm, he had dozed off while 'helping' me with a video. I remember just pacing into his room asking him on some advice for how to go about the video, to which he told me to come and sit down in his bed, which just resulted in him falling asleep on me. His chest rising and falling against my side as his head rest against my arm was almost therapeutic in the silence. His hair was all messy and almost curly with the amount of sweat emitting from his forehead. We had been best friends for 7 years, it was nothing new for him to fall asleep against me, it was sweet that he trusted me that much.

I took my hands away from the laptop and just lay them either side of me, just gazing at him while he slept, a long grin on my face. His breathing seemed to get heavier and more un-easy and he started shuffling his arms and feet uncomfortably. His hands started shaking and reaching around as if trying to grip to something. His hand suddenly reached out only to grip onto mine in a panic, starting to squeeze it repeatedly, forming a rhythm as his other hand seemed to do the same with the covers of the blanket.

The large grin on my face quickly turned into a worried fluster as I squeezed his hand back not quite knowing what to do or how to react. My mind started racing as my stomach starting flipping in circles.

He's asleep. He's not actually doing that. It's not real. My mind jeered.

A small sigh along with a whimper escaped my lips as my stomach slowed down and my mind stopped racing. The voice in my head was right.

Still connecting our hands I reached over with my other, moving the laptop from on top of me and placing it on the floor, slowly, trying not to wake Dan by moving my shoulders too suddenly.

My gaze averted back to Dan, whilst his feet squirmed under the blanket and his hands still clenched on to mine pulsating in a rhythm. My slight happiness vanished when I saw tears rolling down his cheeks, leaving marks on his skin. His cheeks flushed a bright red as his whimpers and sniffles became more needy.

I shuffled my feet and dug my elbows into the mattress and I moved on to my side and lay my head on the pillow instead of the back board; while I pulled Dan's head into my chest with my free hand. His head nuzzled into my chest much like a puppy, trying to hide himself and gather as much warmth as possible. I could still feel the tears rolling down his cheeks making a wet patch on my t-shirt. I managed to slip my free arm between the crook in his neck and the bed, wrapping it around the other side.

Every part of me told me to wake him up, it was completely clear he was having a nightmare. But, just some small part of me just wanted to stay like this, forever. I just wanted to lie like this, hugging him, keeping him safe. I knew he wouldn't let me do this if he was awake. I was scared what he would do; if he just woke up and saw that my arm was wrapped around his neck and his head was nuzzled into my chest and our hands and fingers were intertwined.

"What the hell are you doing!" I could imagine the words blurting out of his mouth as his hazel eyes clouded with confusion and disgust.

My stomach kept fluttering and mind racing at the thought of him actually being awake and purposefully wrapping his fingers around mine. But that would never happen. I just wish it would.