We managed to subdue Blair. Well, Severus managed to subdue Blair, I was too much in shock to do much of anything, and Blair was so focused on me that he seemed to have forgotten that Severus was even there. He was unconscious when we decided to take him back to Hogwarts. With all the dark spells he had cast on the place, we figured it was safest to leave. We found Lacie and apparated back to the castle.
Once again, we stood at the gates. This time I was the one to cast my patronus, as Severus was levitating the bound Blair. A gleaming silver dragon erupted from my wand like a mist.
Well that answers that question.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Severus looks at me and smiles.
Once again, McGonagall comes to the gates and lets us in. Once we've walked back to the castle, and we've secured Blair in shackles in the dungeon, I'm bombarded with questions.
"Who is he?"
"What happened?"
"Have you seen him before?"
"Why did you freeze?"
I took a moment to prepare myself before answering.
"He is Blair, a man I have fought before. I- Severus, he showed me something, that's why I froze."
"What was it, love?" He took hold of my hand.
"He showed me a monster. He showed me myself."
I explained to them then, that I was a murderer, that I slaughtered innocents. They asked more questions, clarifying ones that I knew were meant to make me feel better about it. They said that maybe I was under the Imperius.I know I wasn't. I know because with the reminder, I remember everything I did, why I did it.
Severus was dead. He was murdered by some crazy people who thought our magic(k) was unholy. Blair was one of those crazy people. I was in a rage, promising to make them all suffer.
I did.
Some of them, I simply killed. Others, those who were more involved, I killed their families instead. Their wives. Husbands. Children.
Twenty- two victims.
When I finished, I asked them to lock me up, like the murderous scum that I was. To throw me in Azkaban, where I belong.
"Ally, no! That isn't you!" Lacie, who had been silent until then, spoke up. "Besides, if you go to Azkaban, I'll have to too."
"Allyson Grace Black, no one is going to prison." Severus looked me in the eyes, his hands around mine.
"I won't stand for it," Minerva said.
"I killed people! Innocent people! What don't you understand about that?"
"No one is innocent."
"He's right," I heard a new voice.
"Oh, Albus, you're awake," Minerva said to the portrait.
"I indeed am. Allyson Black, I presume?" he asked.
I nod.
"You are not a murderer. That was someone else. You're different now."
"How do you know? You don't know the person I used to be, you-"
"On the contrary," he interrupted, "I, in fact, have met that person."
"Why am I not surprised?" I heard Severus mumble under his breath, placing a hand on the bridge of his nose.
"Because he knows everything," Lacie muttered in response.
"Emmily Lindin, I think was your name."
I said nothing for a moment, waiting for the words to come, walking closer to the frame.
"If you knew me, truly, then you would know what I have done."
"No, I said I knew Emmily Lindin. Not you. This was a girl who killed in revenge. You wouldn't do that, would you?"
"No, but-"
He held his hand up to stop me.
"Say they lock you up. Then what? What happens when you die and are reborn again?" His left eyebrow raised impressively high.
"Well, then, when I am reborn again, I'll go back." I didn't respond immediately.
"Right," he said sarcastically. "After one lifetime, I don't think you would want another. Also, how are you going to prove that you killed those people anyway? That was over a hundred years ago."
"I-"
"The point is, we aren't sending you to Azkaban. That's final," Severus almost shouted.
I cry. I cry like the tears of the whole world are flowing from my eyes.
~.~ Time Skip Brought to You by Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore~.~
The next couple of days were spent mostly alone. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I think the feeling was mutual. Except for Severus, who kept trying to cheer me up. He brought me flowers, jewelry. I can't count the times he told me he loved me, that it'd be alright.
But it would never be alright.
My bed was there with open arms. So, I slept. And slept.
One day, as I was laying in my bed, a knock rang through the walls of Severus and I's chambers.
"Hello? Allyson, dear, it's Poppy. Open up, I know you're in there. We're all worried about you, you know. Severus is in a right state," she called.
I didn't respond.
"I'm coming in. I hope you're dressed!"
I heard the door open, and the noise of Poppy's skirts shuffling as she made her way to my room. I didn't turn to face her.
"Allyson, look at me at least dear. Talk to me Allyson, what's wrong? You haven't left your room in days, we're all so worried."
"I just want to sleep," I mumble.
"I know you've been through a lot, but it will get better, I promise you."
"No it won't!" I shout, sitting up. "It won't even get better if I die, because I'll just be reborn and have to live through all of the pain when I remember! It will never get better!"
"You might feel that way now, but-"
"No! You don't understand! You can't understand! You have no idea what it's like to have dozens of lifetimes full of terrible deeds resting on your shoulders." I feel a knot forming in my throat.
Poppy was silent for a moment before saying, "You're right."
"What?"
"You're right. I have no idea the pain you must bear. But nonetheless, you must bear it." As she said this, her voice grew solemn.
I didn't say anything.
"How are you feeling?"
"Sad."
"Allyson, it's okay to be sad. Just try to let the good outweigh the bad, okay? Let people near you, let them help you. Severus needs you, and you need him too. Go to him, tell him everything you're feeling. He will understand, for he too, has many burdens upon him."
I nodded, rose, and left my room, Poppy following close behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh my gosh it's been forever since an update! Also, this chapter suks, so I'll apologize for that too.
