The Roommate(s) {A New Girl/Schmidt Fan-Fiction)

Chapter One: It's A Long Story

"Jess, are you sure about this?" I looked up at the apartment building, pulling the sleeves down on my jacket.

"Yes. I need a place to live."

"You can come live with me!' I suggested.

"You live next door to Spencer. No, I really can't."

Ok, so this may require some explanation. You see that girl?

That would be my best friend. We've been friends since high school. Two weeks ago, she found out that her boyfriend, Spencer, AKA my next door neighbor the scumbag that he is, has been cheating on her.  So, naturally in need of a new place to live, she answered a want ad on Craig's list...posted by three guys.

And you see her? The red-head trying to talk her out of possibly walking into a serial killer's lair?

That's me. My name is Rebecca, and I was about to  know make the worst decision of my entire life...

"So, you know in horror movies, when the girl is like, 'oh my gosh, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark.' and you're like, 'What is your problem? Call the police' and she's like 'ok' but it's too late, because she's already getting murdered? Well, uh, my story's kind of like that." I pinched the bridge of my nose as she went to explain to the three strangers across from us about how she walked in on Spencer and his mistress. "So, that happened. That's why I need a new apartment. I'm sorry, what was the question again?"

"Do you have any pets?" The guy repeated.

"No! No, she does not." I replied for her.

"You know what's funny? When I saw your ad on Craig's list, I thought you were women."

"We're all...I mean why would you think that, that's crazy.'

"Schmidt wrote the ad."

"Well, I guess it was something about the words you used. It was like, uh, like, 'sun-soaked' and 'beige-y'." I nodded.  They laughed and then the middle guy, Schmidt, took his shirt off.

"Wow."

"What about these. Are these beige-y?"

"I'm his trainer, so, this is kind of the house that coach built right here." The black guy tapped his abs.

"That's baby smooth." The guy on the other side of him added. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"That's LLS. Ladies Love Schmidt."

"What? What did you just say? Go put a dollar in the jar, right now." Coach told him.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, now."

"Sorry, what jar?" I asked.

"His Douchebag jar."

"LLS, what's wrong with you?"

"This place is beautiful." Jess stated. "It's got so much light. Spencer hated light."

"No, Jess, No." I said.

"It's hard to say his name."

"It's ok. Nick knows. He got dumped." Schmidt explained, putting his shirt back on.

"Dumped. Yeah I got dumped. She dumped me. And I'm over it. Ok, it was six months ago, guys. Get past it. I don't even know why we're still talking about it. Why is everybody looking at me?"

"You know what, I want to live here." Jess said.

"Hold on, I still have some questions. No offense, but we barely know you."

"Exactly! Don't want to be to hasty, right Jess?" I suggested.

"So, um, full disclosure, I'm kind of emotional right now 'cause of the breakup, so I'll probably be watching Dirty Dancing at least six or seven times...a day."

"Jess, not again. We talked about this." I said, leaning against the counter.

"I'm a teacher, so I bring home a lot of popsicle sticks, stuff like that. Also, I like to sing to myself a lot. A lot." She sang.

"I'm tired of living with our other friend. She's a model. All her friends are models. Well, so is she, but she's more normal."

"Uh, how soon can you move in?" Schmidt asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Actually Schmidt, slow up."

"Not happening"

"Ok, uh, could you give us a second? I've gotta talk to my boys."

" 'my boys' is not a thing."

"My bros."

"Douchebag jar."

"Of course." I said. They left and I turned to Jess.

"You cannot move in with these guys! You don't know them!"

"Well, it's my best option right now."

"I can't leave you here with a good conscious.,"

"I'll be fine." I sighed.

"This might be...the stupidest thing I've ever done, but...if you move in here, I'm not letting you do it alone. I'm moving in too."

"Really?!" I nodded and she hugged me before rushing over to the door to listen in.

"Executive decision, she's in."

"Yay, I'm in!" She said. Schmidt opened the door. "I guess that means I'm in."

"What?" Nick asked.

"Like I'm letting my best friend move in with three strangers, alone. You could be rapists." They all opened their mouths to argue, but quickly shut them, seeing my point.

"You are not going to regret this."

And that's how it began. That's how Jess and I moved into a loft with three complete strangers...and honestly? It changed both of our lives.We're not there yet, though. Let's just say...

it's a long story.