Finding Finn Reed

V

I was escorted into the officers holding room. "I'm going to call in one of our specialists, I need you to wait here" the officer said, "I'm sorry this happened." The officer walked out of the room, leaving me behind. To distract myself, I began to observe the room I was in. A tedious room, white walls and metallic table. There wasn't much to look at. Eventually I grew anxious with my thoughts, I wasn't ready to deal with what had happened. The fact that I knew Finn was going to die, stumped me the most, and the fact that I wasn't quick enough, killed me the most. There wasn't much I could have done in the first place. It's not like I could have stopped the train, or warn Finn, this was inevitable. And I wanted to know why. I needed to know why this happened, why I woke up to the past, and why I've been getting all these flashes.

Somebody else entered the room, a man. Tall, well built, jet black hair, and daunting eyes. Unlike the other officer, this man looked younger, about my age. He pulled out a chair, and took a seat across from me, on the other side of the table. He stood there in silence, as if he were gathering up his thoughts on the situation. Before he could speak, I asked him the painful question. "Is he dead?" the man looked down, and then at me, his eyes fixed on mine. "You saw the body, I'm sure you already know the answer" he said. My entire body shuddered at the idea of Finn being dead. The man was right, I did see the torn body, yet I yearned for it to be delusive. Or at least in hopes that they were able to stitch him up, but I saw the blood. He was dead, and there was no way to deny it anymore.

"Did you know the guy?" asked the man before me, writing down details in a little notebook. "A good friend of mine" I replied, choking up as the tears filled the rims of my eyes. "How did it happen, the accident I mean" I looked into the distance. I wasn't sure how to answer. He wouldn't believe me if I told him I saw it in a dream, and he definitely wouldn't believe me if I said I woke up to the same day. "We were on the phone, I heard his panic and then the phone went dead. I left my apartment to see if everything was alright" I said, my eyes now fixed on the mans hand. I noticed a particular etch on his right hand, a circle with rays pointing outward. The imprint mesmerized me, and made me wonder how he came to have it. The man took notice of what I was staring at, and hid his hand under the table, breaking the trance.

The man closed his notebook, and staring down he said, "My name is Atticus Donovan. I've been working here a couple years now, and I've seen a few things. Homicide, suicide, drug busts" I didn't understand why Atticus had told me all of this, it seemed impertinent to the current situation. But he kept speaking. "I've never seen a man completely torn in half, however. Before we move on, I'd like to give my condolences, Miss?" he paused and looked at me in hopes that I'd give him my name. I was reluctant however and I began to speak, ignoring his request completely. "What's going to happen to Finn's body?" I asked, sharpening my tone. Atticus re-opened the notebook and began skimming through it, searching for specifics on the incident. "In this circumstance, he's been transported to Intemilly's morgue. He's going to be fully examined before being buried right away. I looked into his profile and it seems as though he had no family members that lived here, a quick burial seemed appropriate unless you'd like to interject?" I took a deep breath, and shut my eyes. "His parents moved away a couple years ago, I'm all he's got. Burry him as soon as you can, I'd appreciate it greatly" I ordered.

I swiftly got up, and began walking to the door. Atticus remained in his seat, however he took a breath to speak, and I paused right at the door waiting to hear what he had to say. "Truly I am sorry about your loss, Melanie. I wish there was something I could do." Without turning around, I said "You could burry my best friend so I can move on with my life. And if you already knew my name then I don't see a point in trying to fish it out of me like I'm some victim." The door slammed behind me, and I  was back in the streets of cold Intemilly. The way Atticus spoke angered me, or more like reviled my over all emotions. I wasn't too satisfied with his service, however since he was doing me the favor of taking this case, I felt indebted.

The walk back home was more emotionally painful than it was physically. I felt somber, and I was terrified of having to go home to an empty house. I was going to have to pack Finn's belongings in boxes, rather than unpacking them. And I'd have to call his parents and notify them of the incident. I felt a heavy burden on my shoulders, and it was only bringing me down more. The bitter air cut through me like glass. It was a rather painful experience. Eventually, my body anesthetized and I no longer felt the harsh winds beating against me. By the time I arrived to my apartment, I collapsed onto my bed, and began to cry once more. It had been the first time I witnessed such a death. When I was a child, I never experienced death, or how to handle such a situation. In such a case like Finn Reed, I was completely torn apart.

For the next two weeks, I remained immobile in my room. I took notice in my lack of hygiene. My once luscious brown hair had become matted, and tangled. I became frail, anything I ate always poisoned my body, and my face was covered in dry sweat and tears from previous nights. Completely overtaken by Finn's death, my core had been shattered. I'd thirst to dream again, to escape this reality. Every time I closed my eyes however, I saw nothing but darkness. Just an impeccable void that I drifted into. A soulless, vacant reality. In some ways, the cold void was better than the cold reality.

After Finns death, I wasn't able to dream anymore. No more visions, only voids. The dark figure that was apart of my dreams was also absent. I had tried so many remedies. I made herbal tea, I mediated, I took hallucinogenics, but nothing worked. I began to think this was the end of my dreams, because now that Finn was dead, there was no point in having a future. Nobody wants to leap into the future alone. What was the point, if all that was going to happen was I'd just deteriorate and become nothing more than a fragment of the void? No, I wasn't ready to do that. In fact, my body ached to see Finn once more. If I had the opportunity, I'd tell him how much he meant to me, and without him... I was just a vestige of useless particles waiting to expire. I was ready to accept his death, and move on with my life. I had even considered packing everything, and moving away, never to look back. However, fate knocked on my door. And it's name was Atticus.