Finding Finn Reed

VIII

Loud commotion woke me up. As I walked out of my room, I saw Atticus completely bare with no shirt or pants, only briefs. The sight had shocked me out of my tired state. "Jesus Christ, I let you sleep on my couch. Don't flatter yourself" I said as I walked into the kitchen. Atticus laughed, "I thought we were friends, I mean, I did tell you my life story. But, you know, you never told me yours. That's harsh" he pouted. I rolled my eyes and proceeded in making some herbal black tea. "That's because I don't want to." I didn't think Atticus would feel so comfortable around me, I didn't know him for that long. Yet the simple fact that we were both time hoppers had bonded us.

"Exactly my point, you are a harsh human being" Atticus said. "I'm not a human being, I'm a god, remember?" I sarcastically said. The aroma of black tea had filled the air, calming my nerves. I took my usual seat, and drank my tea as I stared out the large window. It wasn't raining, but the snowfall was heavy, and dark clouds scattered across the sky, leaving no room for the sun to shine. I began to think of how lovely the town would be if the sun were out. To feel the suns warmth on my body, to feel any warmth at all.

Atticus took a cup, and sat down at the dining table with me, making sure to avoid Finns chair. We drank our tea and silently started out into the town. The silence wasn't awkward at all, despite Atticus being bare, it felt nice to have somebody in the room. "What are we gonna do today?" Atticus asked, his attention still facing out the window. I ran my fingers around the rim of my cup, and took a deep breath. "I'm going to Find Finn" I said. Atticus now faced me, his face looking shocked. "Eager to get to business I see? You sure you want to do that, you barely know how your time hopping works." He was right, I had no clue how I was going to execute this. "I've never time hopped awake, it's always been in my sleep. I just need to find the missing puzzle to connect it all to reality" I said contently. "You think it's that easy?" Atticus asked, holding his cup to me. "I'm probably going to drive myself insane, but it's worth it, and I need to try." Atticus looked concerned, and said "If you need help, I'm here. Like I mentioned yesterday, I'm able to hop with you for some reason, maybe it's to help you." I smiled, and thanked him.

After tea, I showered for the first time since Finns death. My once natural appearance had returned. My long brown hair had untangled, and my fair skin was smooth again. It felt nice to escape the depression. I remained in the shower for about an hour, just letting the water hit my body. All of my tensions, my worries and anxieties had washed away. I was a time hopper, and I was going to save Finn. I was given a new start, and I wasn't going to ruin it.

After my shower, I dressed in all black. Black long sleeve shirt and pants. Wearing dark colors had helped me stay warm, considering the sun was never out. After a couple hours of getting ready, I walked out into the living room, where Atticus was waiting. "Finally, you really know how to take your tim-" he paused, and his eyes gazed at me. "Everything okay?" I asked. He stood there, motionless, almost in a trance state. I snapped my fingers, bringing him back to reality. "We got to go, the sooner I figure this out the better it'll be for me." Atticus nodded, and we left. He took me to the outskirts of the town, where there was less snow and rain. We decided to practice in an open field by the ocean. We had completely left the town and ventured off to a land that was new to me. "Why here?" I asked, looking around in awe.  "It's an open field, you'll feel less crowded here" he replied. I took a deep breath, I could smell the salty ocean, and the crisp air felt nice compared to the harsh winds in the center of the town. My body turned towards Atticus, "What now?" I asked. "Beats me, try meditating for a bit, I'll hang back here and watch" he replied. I sat down on the grassy floor, and closed my eyes. I wasn't sure what to meditate about, my mind kept going places and wouldn't sit still. "What am I suppose to think about?" I asked, "How will I know I've succeeded?" so many questions I wanted to ask. "You'll know when you've actually gone back, so quit your yapping and get thinking" he ordered. I sighed, and thanked Atticus once more for helping me. I was actually glad to have met him. "I'll be with you the entire time, so don't worry."

I relaxed my breathing, and began to think about Finn. I thought of his overall appearance. The way his soft brown hair always rested on his face. Whenever he spoke, his bright lips always moved gracefully, and his eyes were so welcoming, I could never stop staring at them. Thinking about Finn made me warm. I felt at ease knowing he was still there. I began to think about a white tunnel, and I told myself that's where Finn was, waiting for me. I slowly began to walk to the tunnel, but my concentration was broken, and my eyes shot open. "Dammit, I almost had it!" I yelled, waving my fists into the air. "Yelling isn't going to help, close your eyes and do it again." Atticus said. I grunted with impatience, and shut my eyes once more.

This time, I began to think about things Finn liked. His collection of gems seemed important to him, which means they were important to me. He always had a liking for his plethora of magazines, and he always insisted I take a picture with him. All of these things made Finn who he is. It gave him personality, he always seemed to carry a cheerful vibe wherever he went, the cold felt less painful. I always admired Finns view of the world. "This place is too beautiful to hate, and now I have a reason to love it more" he'd say to me as he gently smiled. I began to remember a particular conversation Finn and I had. He asked me if I loved him. I remember how I reacted as well. Completely stumped, I began to laugh awkwardly in hopes that he was joking around; he wasn't. I was overtaken by his simple question, I didn't know how to answer. I enjoyed Finns company, and the talks we had always made me smile. But did I love him? I asked myself over a thousand times. "I love the idea of you" I blurted out to him. It was a better response than simply saying no. I remember how Finn laughed, how Finn smiled. "Is it so wrong to love the idea of someone?" I asked him, nervously laughing. "You love the idea of me because I make your heart feel warm, don't I?" he replied, placing his hands onto mine. "The idea of sharing your thoughts with someone- it's the best feeling in the world" I laughed. That day, Finn knew how I felt about him, and I was glad to have told him.

Finn was my other half, he was the reason to stay. He became my best friend, and I was eternally grateful for that. The warm feeling had dispersed all over my body, I felt happy for the first time in weeks. My eyes slowly opened to a nostalgic and beautiful sight.

"Finn?"