Finding Finn Reed

XIX

"How did we end up in your apartment?" Atticus asked. Both Atticus and I were back in my ransacked apartment. Our surroundings looked the same as before, utterly burnt to ashes. I shrugged at Atticus and looked around as if it were my first time seeing it. Everything looked about the same, except for a note which was pinned on the silhouette that covered the giant broken window. I slowly approached the silhouette, and took the note in my hands.

Only sunshine from here on out.

                                         -A

Before Atticus could see what I was doing, I quickly crumbled up the note and shoved it into my pocket. "What are you gonna do now?" Atticus asked as he approached me. I took in a deep breath, and anxiously sighed. "I'm not sure," I replied, "I can only move forward." I slowly walked into my room and began to go through my things. Atticus's footsteps followed me into my disorganized beige room, which surprisingly wasn't tampered with. "What are you doing?" Atticus asked, staying by the door and observing. I didn't have the words to reply with, instead I kept going through old boxes of mine, and began pulling certain things out. The first thing I pulled out, was an envelop with my name on it. "Before my parents left, they gave me emergency funds, I guess they knew something like this would happen" I said as I continued to open more boxes. "What are you going to do with the money?" Atticus slowly asked as he picked up the envelop and went through its contents. I ignored his question, and pulled out the second item, a blank notebook. I threw the notebook onto my bed, and continued to look through more boxes. Finally, I pulled out the third and last item, a gold coin.

"What's with the notebook and coin?" Atticus impatiently asked. "I can't stay here anymore, I need to leave" I replied, taking the notebook, envelop, and coin and shoving them into a bag. "Leave? We just got back, where are you going to go?" he asked. "Not sure, somewhere sunny." "And what about me?" Atticus followed me out into the living room, where he saw me open up one more box, one of Finn's boxes. I sat on the floor, and began to look through the charred box. "I met a boy," I said as I dug through the box, "When we went through the door." "A boy? You went back for a boy?" Atticus laughed. I momentarily stopped looking through the box, and stared downward to the floor. "I never caught his name, but he reminded me of myself." "Is that so? Well, I'm sure the boy was interes-" "He found his home," I interrupted, "And I think he might of helped me find mine." Atticus stood behind me, in silence. The sounds of soft winds blew through the apartment, and the sounds of broken glass gently glided across the floor.

"So you met a boy through the door. Sounds a lot more interesting than what I saw" Atticus said. I had completely forgotten about Atticus's door. "What did you see?" I eagerly asked. "It was dark for the most part," he said, "I kept hearing voices all around me, whispering my name." "That's it?" I asked, disappointment beginning to rise. "Let me finish" he continued. "So darkness and voices for about a couple minutes. Then I felt something warm, and I was suddenly in the middle of a warm and sunny field." "What else?" I asked with a hidden smile. "I saw you." "Me? You saw me? Are you sure because I don't remember seeing yo-" "I'm sure. It wasn't really you, it was just an illusion of you" Atticus said. "What was I doing?" I asked. "You were picking flowers in a sun dress, you looked like a geek" he replied with a hint of laughter. "What kind of flowers?" I softly asked as I looked down at my pale hands. "I don't know, I'm not a damn flower expert. They were purple." Suddenly, I pulled out an ashy photograph of Finn and I.

"Larkspur" I whispered as I looked at the distorted photo of Finn holding my face. Atticus walked in front of me and stared down at me. "Larks-what?" he confusingly asked. I sighed as I reminisced about the past. "Finn enjoyed the sweet scent of Larkspur flowers, they were his favorite. Eventually, they became my favorite." "You looked happy when you picked them" Atticus said with a hint of sadness. The memories of collecting Larkspur were highly cherished. I never went out in sunny fields to pick them out however. I would go to flower shops, and buy as many flowers as I could so I could bring them home to Finn as a surprise. The idea of picking Larkspur in sunny fields sounded nice to me, almost like a dream come true. But sometimes, flower shops are your sunny fields.

I folded the ashy photo and gently placed it into the bag. I stood up, and began walking over to the burnt door. "You're leaving now?" Atticus quickly asked. "There's no reason to stay here, my apartment is trashed." Atticus quickly walked over to me and placed his arm on my shoulder. I could feel his hands shake with anxiety. "There was more to what I saw," he said, "I just remembered." I looked down at the door knob, and sighed. "You came up to me, you gave me the flowers, and your smile was so radiant" he said, his voice shaken up. "You even spoke to me." "What did I say?" I quietly asked. "I don't know, you're mouth moved but no words came out." "What do you think I said?" my hand slowly reached for the door knob, but Atticus quickly jerked me back and said, "I don't know, but I want to know." "That little boy was so afraid to open up to me, almost like he was hurt" I said. "What?" Atticus asked, his hand tightening around my shoulder. "He never told me his name, but he didn't have to," I said, "There are certain things you can't change." I slowly released myself from Atticus's tight grip, and turned to face him. His eyes looked red, he was crying. "There are a lot of things that will simply not make sense to me," I continued, "But there's one thing that's clear." "W-What would that be?" Atticus asked with tears in his eyes. "Manifestation." Atticus's eyes widened, and his hands began to shake even more. "The idea of taking form, the idea of embodying something" I said. "What the hell are you saying? You think I'm not real? You think I'm some fucking illusion?!" he began to shout, his fists clenching.

I slowly backed away, and closed my eyes. "DON'T YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES!" he cried even louder. "DON'T YOU DARE! OPEN YOUR EYES MELANIE!" his sharp tone began to make the apartment walls shudder. I kept my eyes closed, but my body began to shake in fear. "After a traumatic event, it's common for people to create these manifestations" I said as tears slowly began to form around the rim of my shut eyes. "Please! Open your eyes! Let's go back to your parallel world, I loved it there, please!" Atticus begged. "There's no exact way to draw the line between reality and fantasy, our minds are willing to go to extreme limits in order to cope." Atticus kept shouting and begging for me to open my eyes, however I just kept squeezing them tighter. "Please! Stop playing around!" he shouted. "This idea of bringing my best friend back from the dead overjoyed me to my limits, but deep down I knew I couldn't do it," I said raising my voice to over lap Atticus's, "I know I'm a time hopper, but I'm no god Atticus!" tears began to quickly roll down my cheeks, causing my eyes to inflame. "I don't care! Just don't close your eyes dammit!" Atticus wailed. A sad smile formed across my face as my hands were placed over my shut eyes. "What are you doing? What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Atticus screamed. My body couldn't stop shaking, I had never felt so anxious before in my life.

"I'm accepting," I softly cried, "I'm letting go." The apartment suddenly became very quiet, only the sounds of the wind was heard. I slowly removed my hand from my face, and opened my eyes. I reached for my bag, and opened the door. "I helped you find your way home, now help me find my way home, be my guide Atticus."