Her, Saving Grace

44

Catherine

Funny how one night I was complaining about not having someone, then ended up being in situations that never would've happened if I just kept my mouth shut and drank my wine.

But then again, if I did do just that; just locked myself in my room and tried forgetting about it, I would probably still be spending my weekends at the apartment, alone and crying about how a dog waited for his owner on a train station.

"I've bought some toys for the kids. I don't know if they'll like it but I hope they do." Robert gave me a nervous smile before focusing his eyes back on the road.

If Glen and I didn't break up, I wouldn't have met Damon. And if I haven't met Damon, then I don't think I'll ever meet Robert. I mean we will meet eventually.

You know how weird it is to know somebody? And not just anybody, but someone who you know would play a certain role in your life? It would freak the hell out of you, too.

In the back of my mind, I knew that I should tell him that I found the one. Or rather, he found me. But in front of that thought, is the fear that I was going to wake up and not hear his attempt on reaching a high note while he's cooking eggs and bacon. He's been with me for a long period of time that I was so sure that I would know the moment he was gone. He was like a bad case of hiccups. You want to get rid of it at first, and even though it annoys the hell out of you, you bear with it. Then once it leaves, you just feel empty.

I also know that messing with what was already planned, would have some consequences. Follow your heart they say. And maybe it's because of what I've been reading lately, but I just might end up on car crash as karma for following my heart.

Damon doesn't have to worry about anything. He could still keep his job and things would be a lot easier for him. He might even have an assigned body just like Benjie.

I on the other hand? What if I don't get a second chance? And what if Mikey asks me to come with him?

Sometimes, I wish I never met Damon or said that silly prayer. Sometimes.

Because sometimes, I wish things were back to normal. Yes, that normalcy where I would go to work, chat with clients, speak to Rose, read and go home. Because that routine was what I was used to. That was I was planning to do until I decide to retire and have my own little cottage where I would attempt on planting my own food. Then God sent me a casanova wanna-be who annoyingly sang his way to my head.

"Are you alright, Catherine?"

I turned to look at him as we took a turn to the church Damon and I visited before.

When I mentioned the church Damon and I went to to donate some of Ellie's things, he volunteered on visiting the place with me.

I would have said no. But then he went on about wanting to know how the children taken in by the church were doing. And he looked so eager. And I did plan on going to visit Sister Mary anyway so I said yes. Like hitting two birds with one stone. Damon wasn't informed of this. I just can't tell him yet.

Now here we are, with the backseat of his car filled with toys for the kids. I volunteered on at least helping pay for them but he was having none of it.

Damon doesn't know that I visit Sister Mary almost every week. I mean I asked him a couple of times before but he would always have an excuse not to go. So I just dropped it and went on my own. I try to help when they have to serve the kids their meals. There's just something about the smiles that children give you that makes you feel like you did nothing wrong in your life.