Her, Saving Grace

48

Catherine

It was the sound like someone was being tortured that made my eyes open.

It took me a few seconds to realize that the groaning was coming from me, and that I ended up sleeping on the couch the whole night. It was about three in the morning when I woke up, hoping to see him snoring in his room. I opened his door carefully, not wanting to bother him and just wait 'til tomorrow if ever he decided to drive back and tell me his thoughts about what I said.

But he wasn't there.

And so were the rest of his belongings. Even the scent of him was gone. Which kind of left me with nothing but an empty room.

Just like how it used to be before he moved in.

A million reasons on why he would leave so suddenly came to my mind, only to end up with one conclusion; It was over. His job was done. Adios. No hasta la vista or get to the choppah for me.

I knew this day was coming. It's just that I didn't get to mark a calendar with X's while I was at it.

I found it difficult to react, and I just stood at his door for I don't know how long. I even tried calling his name out, thinking that maybe, he was just pulling my leg. But he never showed up and I almost had a heart attack when Mr. Fluffy stepped out of Damon's room.

Maybe he's busy at work. He's been gone for a few days before.

But I just knew something was going on. Something certainly was going on with me when he was around. And with how my brain started going back from day one, I noticed how he looked at me. With that stupid crooked nose and that stupid goofy smile.

I never really paid attention on what's happened during the times we were in each other's company. Not until now.

I thought I'd actually like someone who'd fit the criteria I so carefully listed down before. Way back when I was so sure I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. It always earned me concerned stares from my aunts whenever I enumerated the things that I wanted the man should have.

A nice family background. A man who knows his own weaknesses. A man of talent and patience. A man who would respect me, just as much as I would respect him.

Then there came this guy with the characteristics of someone I would have just stood behind in line to get a burger on a crowded joint.

He was loud and obnoxious and messy, yet still smelled like he lived on an apple orchard all his life. There are times when I'll catch him with a lollipop. I know it was difficult to stop smoking so I never really asked him about the lollipop sticks I would find around the apartment.

Damon's sense of humor varied from puns, to sexual jokes that would make me question my morals if I started laughing. He was never afraid to voice out his disagreement when he thought I was on the wrong side of the argument.

By now, it was obvious that he thought of himself as a superstar. His singing was always loud, but he knew whenever I didn't feel like singing along with him and he'd hum Smile while he cooked. It always worked like magic.

After discovering his sudden and unannounced departure, I sat back down on the couch and stayed there until I fell back asleep.

If Damon left without telling me, then it really was over and there's no use chasing him. Or maybe the reason I sat there was to think of what I should do next.

It's not like the guy lived miles away from me.

Maybe, the reason I didn't cry my eyes out was because things weren't over yet. And maybe I didn't drive in the middle of the night to find him because he was at work. And the kind of job he must have been doing couldn't afford having a woman running to him in the middle of a fight with demons, proclaiming her love to him, while he's trying to stay alive.